Playstyle Royale: Dump The Evidence

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This is Playstyle Royale, where I head into Playerunknown’s Battlegrounds and try to win my chicken dinner while adhering to arbitrary rules. This week, I’m going with Godwhacker’s excellent suggestion in the comments from last time:

“Dump the Evidence”.

You’re allowed one kill with a weapon, but then it must be dropped, in order to outfox the Hampshire Constabulary who are fast catching up with you and your trail of murder. You can keep the usual four weapons in your inventory and switch between them, but each gun and any attachments must be disposed of after it’s been used, ideally somewhere it can’t be found easily. I’m also going to embrace my role and try to take out every player I see – I wouldn’t be much of a hunter if I didn’t. As usual, I’ve got five tries to reach the number one spot. Let’s get to it!

For my first game, I parachute down into my favourite central area that has a likely car spawn, along with two other people. I have time to grab a shotgun before I hear shooting in the room next to me, so I hide behind a corner as I hear the fight come to an end. Only one person is left standing, so I leap around and kill the victor while his back is turned. Heroic.

As he was using an identical shotgun to mine, I swap it out with my own. That leaves my murder weapon on…the victim’s corpse! It’s the last place the cops will think to look. I comb over the nearby buildings while I think that through, then return to the scene of the crime and hide my shotgun in a nearby bush instead.

I drive around in a Dacia for a while, before trying to run someone over who just shoots me out of my seat. Imagine I’d managed to flatten that person with the car though? It would have become a murder weapon and by the rules of the game, I’d have to dump it in a lake.

I start in Pochinki for my next round, though I land in a relatively quiet corner of town. I spend ages lurking on the bottom floor of a house, convinced that someone is waiting above me – but when I eventually go up and check, they were either never there or managed to leave at some point without me noticing. Some murderer I am.

A few minutes later, I spot someone running down a hill ahead of me. I dutifully follow the rules, despite not having a scope, and take a couple of shots with my AKM only to see my target duck away unharmed. I think I catch a glimpse of him going prone and sidling up to my position, so again I sit tight and try to wait him out. After a while I conclude that he must have left, but while I’m waiting I spot someone else at the top of the hill I just came from. I spend another age watching something that I’m convinced must be my new target, but in the end the regularity of the movement makes me realise that I’m hiding from some grass blowing back and forth in the wind.

A little later someone comes along in a car, gets out, and unceremoniously shoots me in the head. This is just getting embarrassing.

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I recruit my friend Pete as a partner in crime, and once he’s up to speed on the rules we drop down into the same spot as before for the third match. Fortunately, this time we’re all alone. Less fortunately, the car that’s usually in this spot hasn’t spawned, so we have no choice but to run in between the school and some buildings to the north-east where we saw some people land.

We spot someone in Rozhok and chase after him into a building. Figuring he must be hiding upstairs, we make our way up but find nothing. Foiled again! We run on, but don’t manage to leave town before encountering another duo. They run towards us, and I somehow manage to miss two shotgun blasts in a row at point blank range.

I’m dead, but Pete gets revenge – only to die shortly after to the most yellow man I’ve ever seen in Plunkbat. His clothing would be a massive liability in any other setting, though you couldn’t ask for a better get-up for ambushing people in wheat fields.

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For the fourth game, we decide to land in the far north-western town of Zharki, which neither of us had ever been to before. There are beige trees! A playground! A mini-lighthouse! After so many hours of trudging across the same scenery, I can’t get over the novelty of being somewhere new. I wouldn’t have thought seeing a climbing frame could get me more excited about the upcoming desert map, but here we are.

We’ve gotten incredibly lucky with the circle of safety, and are somehow more or less already in the middle of it. That affords us the time for some thorough looting, and I end up with a Mini 14 and an 8x scope, while Pete finds himself similarly well kitted out. By the time we’re done Zharki is no longer within the circle, so we head east until we spot a jeep parked up outside some houses. We get into position and wait for whoever parked the vehicle to return – and that’s when the server crashes. Oh well, at least we got a go on a jungle gym.

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I’ll be damned if I’m counting that as one of the attempts, so we treat our next game as the real fourth effort. We land by ourselves next to some central houses that we’ve taken to calling our special place, and it lives up to its name, providing us with an assault rifle each. Ten minutes later, we’re searching through some buildings when someone pulls up outside in a Dacia. I lie prone in front of a door I reckon he’s about to run through, and sure enough I soon get the chance to welcome him with a hail of bullets. I chuck the AKM I used in the bin outside – or right by it, as for some reason the engine doesn’t actually facilitate burying weapons in the trash. I might be taking ‘dump the evidence’ a little literally.

We nab ourselves a Dacia, and aren’t driving for long before a jeep pulls out in front of us. We give chase and are lead through a cluster of buildings where both us and our quarry are ambushed by another group. The other car gets away, but Pete – perhaps also a little overly keen to run someone over – circles around and starts heading back towards them. He gets shot before we can collide with anyone though, and the car lists slowly to a halt a few metres from our attackers.

I lose half my health bar but manage to sprint into a tiny hut, heartlessly leaving Pete to be finished off in the field outside. My cowardice only gains me another 30 seconds of life: I’m injured and only have a Tommy Gun to defend myself with, so Pete’s murderer has no trouble putting me down with his shotgun.

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Pete scarpers after that, abandoning me as I abandoned him, and leaving me to face the fifth and final round on my lonesome. When I spawn in, I’m pleased to see that my screen is obscured behind waves of drizzle. I’m a sucker for a good in-game rainstorm, and Plunkbat’s don’t disappoint.

I parachute down into the shooting range, and this time I’ve got company. It’s only one guy, but he beats me in a race to a picnic table with a SCAR on it. I’m forced to flee down to the to the end of the range, where I find nothing but a helmet and a can of pop.

As I creep back to where I thought he’d landed, I’m surprised to find an M16 and a Kar98k. I use the former to take a shot at the chap with the SCAR, but miss – though I don’t think he spots me. I slink around to the side of his position and a ridiculous 60 seconds follow where I repeatedly try and fail to jump over a concrete wall – vaulting can’t come soon enough – while my quarry miraculously keeps his back toward me.

Eventually I give up, and just crouch behind a bit of concrete. As if rewarding my lack of persistence, he then starts running directly towards my spot – I rotate around my concrete so that I stay out of sight as he moves by, then shoot him in the back. I dispose of my M16 in a nearby burning car… sort of.

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I find a Dacia on a road just to the north, so drive around looking for trouble. I don’t find any, until I enter a seemingly unlooted house and encounter someone who was camping inside. This week’s Royale ends not with a whimper from inside a bush, but a bang from an unseen shotgun.

Despite over a hundred hours of plunking, I think this might actually be the first time I’ve died to someone who fooled me into thinking a place was safe. Remember kids: always close the door behind you.

If you’ve got a suggestion for my next Playstyle Royale, pop it in the comments below.

13 Comments

  1. caff says:

    Really enjoyed this series, very funny and a different perspective to an otherwise savage game :)

  2. Brandon123429 says:

    Patrol Car

    For a Playstyle Royale, you should be in a squad or duo and you must stay in the first vehicle you find, only stopping to loot buildings. If the vehicle is destroyed or flipped, you must not do anything until you’ve found a replacement.

  3. Premium User Badge

    Godwhacker says:

    Such is the nature of Plunkbat- it’s bad enough staying alive as it is without being hampered with a daft suggestion. Still, thanks for trying!

  4. Bear is Driving says:

    The Yogi Bear

    You cannot enter buildings ever and can therefore only loot outdoor items and “picnic baskets” left by the dead. Bonus duo rule: you must call your partner Boo Boo.

    Admittedly this mostly just forces you into the shooting range and Stalber but there are picnic tables with items around.

  5. dylan says:

    I have never played Plunkbat, but I’d like to see some version of “the floor is lava.”

  6. DankWarMemes says:

    I have a few ideas, if you don’t mind me sticking them all in one comment:

    “Silence of the Lambs”- Play in a duo or squad. In each match, one person acts as the ‘Shepherd’, all other teammates are considered ‘Sheep’. While in a match, the Shepherd is the only player who may use any form of communication, even if he/she should die, but must not provide communicative support while “death spectating”. Sheep are only allowed to use sidearms or melee weapons unless the Shepherd is knocked out or killed.

    “Golden Eye”- You may only use a weapon if you have a suppressor or a scope of 4x zoom or greater attached to it (having both is, of course, permitted). Crossbows are an exception, as they are silent regardless, and the revolver may be used unrestricted. Holographic sights and 2x scopes may only be used on the Crossbow, while Red Dot sights may additionally be used on sidearms. Frag Grenades and Molotov Cocktails are prohibited.

    “Rock, Paper, Shotgun”- Play as a duo. Make any effort possible to take a vastly different loadout than your partner. Whenever you enter a situation where an enemy could be ambushed, you and your partner must play a single round of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Whoever wins gets to come up with the strategy, lead the ambush, and must be the first one to fire upon the target(s), regardless of loadout or positioning. The other player may not even use any type of grenade until they have strict confirmation of the leader initiating the assault.

  7. Stevec649 says:

    The Marco Polo

    Every 30 Seconds all game long you must fire a shot to draw the enemies in.

  8. Pvtbrand says:

    My suggestion for a playstyle:

    “The High Ground.” As any great military leader knows, he who controls the high ground puts himself at a massive advantage. There are two rules for this play style;

    #1 Whenever you are fighting someone you cannot engage them unless you are at a higher elevation. If you are attacked by someone whilst you are below or at the same height as them you cannot return fire until you are higher than them. Standing on top of a car, a rock, even whilst jumping all constitute being higher than them.

    #2 After the first stage of the circle starts to close in all effort must be made for you to get to the highest possible point within the safe zone.

    “All armies prefer high ground to low…” — Sun Tzu, The Art of War

  9. bmxbandit says:

    Hot Potatoes:
    Any grenades/molotovs you find must immediately be picked up and then primed, giving you a few seconds before they must be thrown.
    Rambo:
    Not allowed to raise your weapon; all firing from the hip only (no holding the right mouse or ADS allowed).
    Sniper:
    Only sniper rifles allowed. One shot, one kill. If you miss or fail to kill the enemy in one shot, you have to evade them.
    OCD:
    Every open door you see has to be closed. If you drive past a compound and see an open door, you have to stop to close the doors before continuing.
    Vasovagal needle phobia:
    Only allowed to heal with energy drinks, pills and bandages. Also, not allowed to enter any room or space containing a med kit. If you accidentally do so, you must immediately run from said space, screaming in terror with the voice comm activated.

  10. DrollRemark says:

    Despite over a hundred hours of plunking, I think this might actually be the first time I’ve died to someone who fooled me into thinking a place was safe. Remember kids: always close the door behind you.

    Oh man, memories coming back of that time I found a seemingly completely empty 1-storey house, complete with SCAR and ammo on the kitchen table. I sat in there for a good minute or so, to hide from several cars driving past towards the zone, only to do one last quick check of the bathroom before leaving and getting nailed by someone who had been in there the whole time.

  11. Quasar says:

    I really enjoy reading these.

    Suggestions:
    Hydrophile – You just love water. Can’t get enough of it. You must stay on or near water for as long as possible. If you’re not within sight of water, you cannot use any weapons.

    Hydrophobe – The opposite. You find water extremely upsetting, even the thought of it gives you the jitters. You cannot use any weapons while you can see water.

    Fashionista – You must swap clothes with every corpse you encounter.

    Legless – You are decidedly not sober. You must stay prone at all times, unless in a vehicle driven by someone else. You cannot drive, because you are over the legal limit. You cannot use aim down sights, or any thrown weapons. For bonus points, you should play with the mouse invert setting to the opposite of however you normally like it.

  12. demontoe says:

    These are some outrageous ideas you guys are proposing! After reading thru most of these my suggestion doesn’t seem as good now. I like the idea of the hydrophobe or some other type of phobia lol . My idea was a little less spectacular but I will post it anyway i guess.
    “the necrophile” U and your P can only kill with things
    you find on the dead and maybe since u like dead things
    you would want to loot as many dead ppl as possible.”
    thanks for the laughs, peace demontoe!

  13. TorQueMoD says:

    Not sure if you’ve tried it yet, but you should play an entire round prone. Soon as you land, you have to go prone and stay prone for the entire match :)

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