A lesson on the rules of nature from Metal Gear Rising

Following yesterday’s Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance post, we have received a number of letters wishing to know more about the “rules of nature” that I–and so many others–shout about any time someone mentions the game. What are these rules? Must we all follow them? Seeing as 2018 is the year of Revengeance, it’s only sensible to brush up. Here are the RULES OF NATURE!

  • Enjoy the countryside and respect its life and work
  • Guard against all risk of fire
  • Leave all gates as you found them
  • Keep your pets under close control
  • Keep to public paths across farmland
  • Use gates and stiles to cross fences, hedges and walls
  • Leave livestock, crops and machinery alone
  • Take your litter home
  • Help to keep all water clean
  • Protect wildlife, plants and trees
  • Take special care on country roads
  • Make no unnecessary noise

So remember: keep your robodog on a leash during lambing season, open then close gates rather than shredding them in slow motion, don’t spill nanomachines or spine juice near streams, don’t pet Gekkos no matter how cute their mooing is, and if you absolutely must dice a robodino do collect all the pieces afterwards.

sorry, I just can’t get it out of my head

7 Comments

Top comments

  1. Shinard says:

    Being careful of standing trees/
    Looking for any dirty streams/
    There are no bins among the heth/
    So take trash as you would your breath/
    As you would your breath!

    RULES OF NATURE!
    So we guard when the fires flare up/
    With our pets in our eyes/
    (Crossing stii-iii-iiles)/
    Close gates in the wild!
  1. Meat Circus says:

    That means no cow tipping, and no challenging goats to a screaming match that you will lose.

  2. Turkey says:

    I accidentally dropped a tube of nanomachines on my last camping trip. I think the mohawked bear with the laser monocle is still hunting me.

  3. Shinard says:

    Being careful of standing trees/
    Looking for any dirty streams/
    There are no bins among the heth/
    So take trash as you would your breath/
    As you would your breath!

    RULES OF NATURE!
    So we guard when the fires flare up/
    With our pets in our eyes/
    (Crossing stii-iii-iiles)/
    Close gates in the wild!

  4. Lawsoneer says:

    Alice, you’re a gem.

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