Grappling hook platformer Remnants of Naezith looks like a speedrunner’s fever dream

remnants-of-naezith-1

Why did the mountain climber quit his job and become a wrestler? Because he was grappling hooked.

Hello and welcome to another day of awfulness. I’m Brendan, and today we will be alleviating the weight of existence with news that Remnants of Naezith, a grappling hook platformer that looks hard as a Blackpool rock, will be coming out on February 6. It also looks like a speedrunner’s dream. Come see.

“That’s like Super Meat Boy with a grappling hook!” said my brain to me this morning, the hateful organ. “It’s faster than VVVVVV! I bet you could die hundreds of times!” Shut up, brain. I’m not playing it. I can take one look at this monster, its 80+ levels, its global rankings and leaderboards, its record-setting ghosts to compete against, its speedrun mode, its level editor, all of this, I can look at it all and know that I have already given up.

But perhaps, gentle reader, you are not so easily defeated.

It’s coming out on February 6 on Steam and will cost… *checks notes* … we don’t know how much it will cost.

Bonus chapter for game developers

Hello again. Are you a game developer sending your work to the press? Take heed of Remnants of Naezith developer Tolga Ay, whose email to us this morning is a strong example of the confident press release. Here is the entirety of his email (with Steam code censored because we want to keep it, thanks).

best press release

This is super. Right off the bat, we have a GIF. It’s not animated in this screenshot, but look, it is a good sample gif.

First line of text is the news. A release date. A hard fact. Yes, that is agreeable. Second line: a one-sentence summary of the game itself. Short and sharp. Thank you, Tolga. Third and fourth line is the Steam key, so we can play it for ourselves. This is even given its own emboldened heading, so my eye finds it straight away. Thumbs up. Final line? Links to the store page, trailer and presskit. Neatly separated by pipes.

This is how you fish for attention. The most important part, of course, is having an interesting-looking game. But if you’ve got that, this is how you should send your press releases. It took me approx 5 seconds to absorb this email and determine that it was not going in the big raging furnace we keep burning day and night at castle Shotgun. That’s right. We are kept warm by the hundreds of terrible emails we get every week. We roast them. We watch them turn to ash and it makes us feel pleasant.

But not this one. This one, we keep.

14 Comments

  1. Louis Mayall says:

    Are you all right Brendan?

  2. Malcolm says:

    Looks awesome. Or horribly frustrating. Suspect I’ll leave this one to the masochists to save my sanity.

    • Megatron says:

      The Gif looked awesome, the Release Trailer took it to ‘nope’ territory. This is definitely another one for the masochists (I call them “Splatformers”). A real shame; I’d have enjoyed messing around with the grappling in a more casual enviroment. As a pure gameplay mechanism it looks frikkin’ sweet.

  3. jezcentral says:

    A mash-up of Super Meat Boy, VVVVVV and Floating Point? Too hardcore for me.

  4. Premium User Badge

    MajorLag says:

    I hope the movement mechanics feel as sweet as they look. Like Meatboy, though, I’ll probably enjoy the first dozen or so levels and then get too frustrated to bother with the rest of it.

  5. Viroso says:

    But what was the email’s title?

  6. Nixitur says:

    I can hardly believe I’m saying this, but this looks too fast.

    I’ve played plenty of precision platformers. Your Super Meat Boy, Dustforce, VVVVVV, They Bleed Pixels, N, N+, N++, and I like them a whole lot. I think one of the great things about most of the level design in these is that you can take it slow, learn the level, plan a path. You can go extremely fast, but with very few exceptions, you aren’t forced to.

    So, I’m not sure about this game then. A lot of the level design in the trailer seems like you absolutely do have to go fast because, surprising nobody, grappling hooks in video games are all about keeping your momentum. And if the terrain is zipping by too fast to analyze and react, with the game expecting you to grapple onto a small block, then that doesn’t seem terribly fair.
    On the line between “challenging” and “punishing”, it might very well go a bit too far into “punishing” for my liking.

    • anon459 says:

      Idk, when the trailer scrolled through all the levels, a lot of them looked a lot more cramped than the big open fast areas we saw a lot of in the trailer. I imagine you could keep things to a slower pace if needed.

  7. anon459 says:

    Omg it IS Super Meat Boy with a grappling hook! Why did this not exist until now!?

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