Poise. Skill. Patience. Calm.
Those are just four of the attributes that speedrunner ‘Distortion2’ possess, and I am sadly lacking – at least when it comes to ascending a mountain as a man stuck in a cauldron using only a hammer (a sentence that never stops being fun to write). Ok, so you read the headline, you know what you’re about to witness: Getting Over It has been completed in less than 2 minutes. If you don’t mind seeing the later sections before you’ve reached them yourself, then this is one speedrun you won’t want to miss.
Firstly: wow. Cripes. Forget nuclear fission, the moon landing or that time I managed to peel a tangerine in one go. Who’d have thought humanity’s single greatest accomplishment would end up embedded in a news post on RPS?
Secondly: There’s a lot to learn here. I mean that both in terms of the specific ways Distortion navigates some of the sections, and more generally in how he alternates his technique between overhead swinging and jackhammer jumps. It turns out that sticking your hammer in the ground and pushing downwards can propel you waaaay further than I thought.
The numbers at the top right show that this is far from the fastest possible ascent. If Distortion had managed to complete each segment in the fastest time he’d ever achieved, then his total run time would have come in at 1:33 – shaving off a full 25 seconds. Don’t expect that to happen anytime soon though, seeing as that uninstall at the end probably wasn’t just for show. According to one of the comments, he’s always said that he’d quit once he managed a sub 2 minute run.
As a side note, I really dig that end game screen that makes you promise you’re not streaming or recording before you get to see what waits atop the mountain. Any thoughts I had about looking up the ending have vanished, replaced by a renewed desire to hike up myself. I’m sure that will vanish in turn the next time I fall and undo hours of progress, but that mountain isn’t going anywhere. Maybe I’ll have climbed it by the end of the year.
Oh, and if you’re wondering why Distortion has a fancy gold cauldron, it’s because he’s reached the top 100 times.
Here’s Speedrun.com’s Getting Over It scoreboard, in case you want to keep an eye on it.