This perfectly horrifying Twitter bot combines erotica and video games

The problem with Twitter, people always say, is that it’s too good. Everything on Twitter is just too wonderful. If only someone could somehow make Twitter horrifying enough that you instinctually threw your phone across the room upon loading the app, we could get our lives back. Friends, consider this problem solved. Game designer Liz England has created @vg_erotica, a Twitter bot which combines romance novel excerpts with video game references, and every time it tweets I hear myself cry “Oh no!” aloud. It is beautiful in its dreadfulness. Workplace warning: this post contains awful sexiness.

The bot combines snippets of Sarah MacLean novels with video game memes and references, turning sexy into dank. My skin crawls yet I laugh. If you want to see how such a monster came into being, check out England’s Twitter thread of progress.

I think the worst part is, I have a nagging half-memory that I might once have said something somewhat like this to an actual living person in the nip. Why.

I mean,

it’s

just

not

right.

Though even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

“Many bots combine two things in order to create something bigger and better through the juxtaposition,” noted George Buckenham, my pal who runs the bot-making platform that this is built upon. “This bot combines two things to make something much worse.”

I heartily agree with that recommendation. I’m experiencing that same feeling our Brendy has with the horrible bag of meaty tendrils in Carrion, of being enamoured with how perfectly terrible something is.

18 Comments

  1. Kamestos says:

    Thanks for making my day.

  2. Hunchback says:

    I fail to understand why this is “horrible”, i find it hilarious… :|

  3. gabrielonuris says:

    The problem with Twitter, people always say, is that it’s too good. Everything on Twitter is just too wonderful. If only someone could somehow make Twitter horrifying enough that you instinctually threw your phone across the room upon loading the app

    So, like Facebook.

  4. Themadcow says:

    At least it wasn’t a Genji main.

  5. Someoldguy says:

    The couch rocked rhythmically. The squeaking of springs grew louder and louder. His fingers thrust relentlessly with increasing force and speed.

    “Oh yes,” she cried, “all comments should be written in this format in future. Don’t stop typing!”

  6. Premium User Badge

    particlese says:

    Ah, 0451, the key to everything.

  7. Spacewalk says:

    Why would I want to see more I just saw the best part.

  8. racccoon says:

    Lol silly people.
    It has to reach a point because of the stupidity of people today who believe in the use all these twatts, facebockers instagoonies etc, that its real life! They’ve lost ability’s for normal interaction staring into screens besotted by all the callings it sends, seeing no other outlet to whats real in their life.
    I believe this has to do with the “Pied piper syndrome” it just so easy today to have them follow you down the road of self abomination & self destruction of their own supposedly unique characters & Yes it turns out there are billions of them….mugs lol

  9. April March says:

    This is absolutely horrible. *follows*

  10. Amstrad says:

    His fingers traced the shape of her spine, sending a thrill of pleasure and anticipation through her body. With a teasing grin he leaned forward to brush the lobe of her ear with his lips and whispered, “The Cake is a Lie.”

  11. Premium User Badge

    Don Reba says:

    Sex is passé, now that we have Subnautica.

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