Have You Played… this mystery game?

A classic

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time.

A timeless classic. This game has been indulged by children and adults alike for so many decades that its artistry, ingenuity and grace cannot be denied. It is, without a doubt, one of the best games ever to sprout from mankind’s imagination. But what is it? Look below and you’ll find out.


Like I said, a classic.


  1. StAUG says:

    God damnit.

  2. Metalfish says:

    Ah, up there with assaulting one another on birthdays, the 1st of the month or for other entirely arbitrary reasons.

  3. Viral Frog says:

    … why?

    To answer your question, yes. Yes I have played this stupid game.

  4. napoleonic says:

    The game may have been invented by an elementary school student named Joey Bridger in Toronto, Ontario around 1995.

    1995, and supposedly “a classic”. That explains why I had no idea what this “article” was about. Kids these days…

    And I guess the tagline of “game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time” has just been proved wrong.

    • Zorgulon says:

      That’s a cause for a “Citation needed” on Wikipedia if ever there was one.

    • Shuck says:

      Yeah, I had to follow the link, because I was baffled. I thought it might be some sort of sex thing. I guess it’s just a young-person thing.

  5. DuncUK says:

    I remember that “the bumps” got banned at my school when a kid got hospitalised with back injuries of some sort. On his birthday.

  6. Premium User Badge

    Drib says:

    I recall this from middle school. Kids are idiots basically.

  7. Kefren says:

    Along with Raps – the game where you drew a card to see how many raps you got, and whether they were light or hard. The death queen was the ultimate scrape, terrible when your knuckles were already skinned raw.

    • xowicop says:

      First MP game I played. Single player was good, but nothing like coming up against an equally matched opponent. Or playing with a friend against a couple of other people in an larger engagement. So many tense moments.

      So glad it was included, finally!

      Also, just “finished” kizi online games last night. Played it in a single sitting, so it was a late night, but I don’t regret it. Awesome game. I usually don’t like to replay games like this, but Oxenfree begs for it, and, if I’m reading things right, is incomplete without at least a second playthrough.

  8. HiroTheProtagonist says:

    I saw this coming a mile away, yet I clicked.

  9. Peralph says:

    I’m going to a gaming convention this weekend (playthroughgc.com) — board, role-playing, console, computer and even an escape room. I’ll be sure to let the organizers know they should include this one next year. (No I won’t)

    • Peralph says:

      Ugh…my arm has hurt since making my cranky reply.

      Can I stop playing now?

  10. nitric22 says:

    This is the silliest Have You Played ever. Thus I will use it as a springboard into my own presentation of the HYP? article I’ve been waiting on for years and have yet to see…Battlezone! (the 1998 one)

    Over one Thanksgiving family outing to my Uncles at the age of 11, I found myself terribly bored and thus invited to hop on to my uncles computer and try out his newest game. I dare say I’d never played anything like it. The idea of RTS base building while in the middle of the action oneself was truly breathtaking. Turret placement, defending my scavengers from assault with tank escorts, scouting enemy positions, all the while hovering around in my own vehicle firing my machine guns and sending volleys of mortars at the enemy position.

    The real highlight though came when my cousin and I both owned a copy. The game allowed direct dial up connections for multiplayer sessions. DEW-DEW-BLEEEE-BLEEEE-DEEEEE-DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE….connected! My first ever multiplayer game.

  11. LennyLeonardo says:

    You bell-end.

  12. ColonelFlanders says:

    Brendan you’re such a fucking wanker.

  13. Ben King says:

    Amused yet cantankerous grumbling from me over here.

  14. ComicSansMS says:

    We basically turned this into Calvinball, by making up rules on the fly why you were in fact not eligible for a punch whenever you got caught looking at the ring.

    And yes, that could backfire horribly if you’re not careful. Emergent gameplay’s a bitch.

  15. NetharSpinos says:

    I can’t tell if people are grumpily amused or genuinely angry at, let’s be honest, a harmless prank.

    • napoleonic says:

      I’m more confused than angry. This would have been a decent prank on April 1st, but today it feels out of place. Was it intentionally scheduled for Lupercalia? If so then that’s ace, but there was no mention of that and besides, I doubt there are many people who know about both Lupercalia and this “game”. It just seems – pointless.

  16. Skabooga says:

    Goddamnit, Brendan! :)

    Also, just for good measure, I lost.

  17. Premium User Badge

    particlese says:

    Oh no, what do I do now?! I’ve already declared at least John “the best”… Ah, I know! I hereby declare that RPS is staffed entirely by the best. That’ll have to do.

    Anyway, yep! Instant smiles. I’ve played this one a lot, and mostly with my dad. We include all the “extras” Wikipedia mentions, though it’s possible we developed them independently, and we only give each other token shoulder-slugs followed by nyuk-nyuks and so on so we can live to play the game another day.

    A related favorite at holiday gatherings is the one where you show someone where they spilled something on the front of their shirt. Particularly fun when they actually have spilled something or are wearing a neat shirt you want to point out, and they think you’re really just trying to play the game.

  18. geldonyetich says:

    Well, then, I have a question for you, Brendan Caldwell.

    Have you played The Game?

  19. baud001 says:

    I remember this from primary school in France. But other stopped playing with me since I didn’t follow the rules.

  20. Raoul Duke says:

    Ok, I have no idea what the fuck this article or any of these comments are about – someone enlighten me?

    • JiminyJickers says:

      If you look at it, you get a punch in the arm. Classic school game!

      Those were the rules where I’m from anyway.

  21. JiminyJickers says:

    Doh!!! You got me. Waiting for the punch.

  22. BrotherSurplice says:

    We have reached peak secondary school.