A longer peek behind the curtain at Two Point Hospital

Two Point Hospital

Let’s not beat around the bush here: Two Point Hospital is Theme Hospital 2 in all but name, and that’s okay, because I miss Theme Hospital and having a polished spiritual successor developed by a team of ex-Lionhead folk who understand exactly what made the original so consistently endearing is an incredibly enticing proposition.

It’s still relatively early days for Two Point Hospital, but here’s a full eight minutes of developer-narrated gameplay footage, showing the very start of the game, opening up a small-town clinic and treating what ails the locals. Premature mummification seems worryingly common in rural England as of late.

There’s a lot of charm here. Not only are the ailments consistently daft (and even those that aren’t being cutely named – see the patient suffering from Hurty Leg needing a fracture clinic), but the staff themselves have a lot more overt personality than they did in the original Theme Hospital. One doctor celebrates his own expert usage of the X-Ray machine by hopping into the middle of the room for a little dance.

The quality of the animations is consistently excellent all round. While I do worry that some might get a little bit repetitive, the absurd interactions at the Fluid Analysis lab (including the panicked blood-sampling) stand out as especially great thanks to the interactions between the hospital staff and the patient. Even though the later game could turn into a terrifyingly stressful failure-cascade, Theme Hospital really stood out with its relentless likability, and Two Point Hospital looks to be following well in its footsteps.

Also, I cannot help but notice that your little advisor who pops up to inform you of important developments and what you can do about them looks a little bit like Jeremy Corbyn. Shameless communist propaganda, I tells you. Next thing, they’ll be complaining when you charge ‘shifty-looking’ patients triple.

Two Point Hospital is still a ways off, but you can keep your eye on its development over on the official site here.


  1. Fitzmogwai says:

    It might finally be time for me to retire my Theme Hospital install disk.

  2. Crafter says:

    I can’t get over how soulless these characters eyes look.

    I think this might be enough for me to stay on the original. Although .. is there anything this demon spawn adds to the mix ? TH still holds up pretty well.

    • Beefenstein says:

      I managed to not really look at the screenshots before reading your comment and just assumed you were being silly but, no, the eyes of these char models are empty and dead.

    • Mostquito says:

      “My eyes are up here!” dlc is in the making!

    • cardigait says:

      Dead eyes syndrome.
      Please don’t spoil the game :)

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      Ninja Dodo says:

      I don’t know the characters walking around seem fine, it’s just the tutorial pop-up guy that looks a bit off. Some blinks and eye darts would fix it, maybe some more expressive eyebrows.

  3. clockworkrat says:

    I couldn’t tell; have they fixed the problem in Theme Hospital of all doctors being male and all nurses being female?

    • Troubletcat says:

      Well, the devs comment on a nurse with a big bushy beard in the video, so it seems likely, but who can say for sure?

  4. TheDandyGiraffe says:

    Also, I cannot help but notice that your little advisor who pops up to inform you of important developments and what you can do about them looks a little bit like Jeremy Corbyn.

    They should definitely give you a choice. I’d like my advisor to look like a tiny scruffy blonde Boris, and the go-to treatment for all ailments would be a straightforward, no-nonsense amputation. Headache? Toothache? Doesn’t matter.

  5. clockworkerr0r says:

    I think it definitely seems interesting, but I’m excited to see future developments. I agree that some parts seem like they could be a little repetitive right now, but it’s not enough to drive me away from the game completely. I’ve seen a lot of really unique games pop up this week though. Another one that I’m looking forward to trying out is Nova Nukers. It’s a competitive multiplayer that has a interesting spherical stage design. I’m curious to see how it’s going to work out during gameplay, because I’ve never seen another multiplayer use this kind of design before. I’m hoping to see some more updates from this one as well.

  6. Cropduster says:

    I know it’s early days, but it does look really similar to Theme Hospital with less charm and cartoon body horror. I’d really like to see them shake up the mechanics a bit and add some new depth to the management.

    Parkitect had the same issue, it was straight up just RCT with 3D graphics, and the novelty wore off pretty fast.