David Lynch Teaches Typing is very, yrev good


Rhino Stew Productions’ delightful free game David Lynch Teaches Typing doesn’t necessarily require a working knowledge of the ways and tropes of America’s favourite avant-garde film-maker or of Mavis Beacon’s iron rule over 90s typing tuition programs, but it’s a doozy if you do. I will say that the impersonation of FBI Deputy Director Gordon Cole’s distinctive barked but super-positive speech patterns is riotously on-point, however.

Lynch tells you what buttons on your keyboard to press, you press ’em and you learn to type. Perhaps you will also learn other truths about existence.

David Lynch Teaches Typing is clearly born of love for the Twin Peaks co-grandmaster, both his work and his on and off-screen personas, even though it pokes gentle fun at Lynchian stereotypes. It does lean on a few slightly obvious buttons and one gag perhaps conflates Lynch with Cronenberg, but the narration is beautiful work and the general sense of celebration makes it all hang together delightfully.

I won’t spoil the surprises, clearly, but I will say that Lynch (or the Cole-ish impersonation thereof) is a warm and sincere tutor both before and after the game starts chanting out between two worlds. There’s also enough Easter eggs to keep this ageing Peakie happy for a few replays – clock the name of the computer in the screenshot, f’r instance.

This only last ten minutes, but in the absence of a fourth season of Twin Peaks, I’d happily settle for a month-long course of this.

Free for Windows, Mac and Linux, via Itch.io.


  1. Crusoe says:

    This is fantastic!

  2. Shacklestein says:

    “Harry, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present.”

  3. ikehaiku says:

    Well, if you have absolutely no knowledge whatsoever about Lynch (I just know he made Twin Peaks. That I never watched. Never heard the guy voice), it really, really falls flat.
    As an added bonus, teaching me to press “a” on the home row is a bit disorienting. qwerty not universal (studios!) ya know !

    • Blad the impaler says:

      Obviously, without having seen the reference material it might – The show’s still good though. Anyone who hasn’t would do well to give it a go. It’s ehm, idiosyncratic but has aged quite well, I think.

      • Vandelay says:

        I watched it recently before re-watching season 3 on Blu-ray. I would say it has aged quite a bit really. It doesn’t help that the American soap operas it emulates have not been around for 20 years (and for those of us that aren’t in the USA it seems even more alien). It is so unique though that this is not a huge problem and can just feel idiosyncratic. The inclusion of a show within a show also helps alleviate this.

        Still clear to see what a massive influence it was and still is on TV though.

  4. Vandelay says:

    Wow Alec wow. That was some pretty fun silly nonsense. As a big Lynch fan, this was a real delight.

    Lynch truly sees beauty and wonder in the most minor of things in this world. The way this latched onto that really had me grinning for the entire 5-10 mins of it.

  5. Shacklestein says:

    Sadly, the Linux version appears to have a bug. No, not the one you’re thinking of, another one. Either that or it doesn’t like my particular hardware/software combo. It freezes up mid-static and has to be manually killed.

    • Vandelay says:

      I would guess you are referring to right at the end when it cuts to a video. Might be an issue with the format of that?

      • Shacklestein says:

        Well, I obviously don’t know where the end is having not gotten there, but it didn’t feel like the end; And as Monty Python would say: That was never ten minutes.

        It happens when you press and hold A. There’s static, the picture almost returns, more static, then freezes while the static is on screen.

        The itch page no longer has a Linux download, so I guess someone found out where to report things.