Coffee Stain tease us with a very Satisfactory lizard-pup

LIZARD PUPPY

We’re in the run-up to GDC and E3 again, so that means it’s teaser trailer season. Today’s ad-for-an-ad comes from Goat Simulator and Sanctum studio Coffee Stain, and I think they might have the camera pointed the wrong way, although I kinda hope they don’t, because I have very little interest in anything but this adorable alien lizard/lobster/puppy thing now.

It’s fairly safe to assume that with a name and logo like that, plus the largely-unseen industrial activity happening just off-screen in the teaser that Satisfactory is some kind of industrial construction/management game, and yet I cannot bring myself to care about the mystery of the unseen game-to-be because of that damnably cute alien puppy-thing and its love of juicy fruits.

The animation on it is just lovely, right down to how the plates/fins on its back flare up when it sneezes (and that is one of the cutest little puppy sneezes ever). Just give me a game about this little critter and its quest to snack on all the delicious fruits in a massive alien jungle, and I’ll be happy.

Coffee Stain are predictably evasive about details in their press release, stating that if we could tell anything about the game at this point, then it wouldn’t be a very good teaser. It’ll also be ‘done when it’s done’, making it all doubly vague.

Still, if the vague half-promise (likely to be dashed against the rocks of reality) of spending more time with my perfect alien pet appeals, there is apparently an alpha-testing signup page here couched in nefarious future corporate-speak, and with the promise of the first invites going out some time in May.

9 Comments

  1. Seafoam says:

    Looking at the trailer I can sense that strange stank to it, a gut feeling of sorts.
    That gut feeling tells that this’ll be a management game with that old “Maxis Lamas Lmao” style of humour with dark undertones.

    I don’t like those sorts of games, but I’d be happy to be wrong. I look forward to hearing more about the game.

  2. Troika says:

    Bless you.

  3. Caiman says:

    Clearly you have to build factories that raze pristine wild habitat to the ground, crushing entire populations of adorable puppy lizards to death under the tracks of heavy machinery, leading to the eventual extinction of the species and causing millions of kids to cry. You monster.

    • Xerophyte says:

      Factorio is well-loved, great and has been around for a few years now, and it’s game about exterminating alien life on an industrial scale by constructing the biggest mess of conveyor belts, robot arms and water boilers that your mind can envision.

      Making less grognardy version of Factorio (or, if you prefer, one of the various minecraft-likes focused on automation) that doesn’t look like it was made in 2003 seems like something a dev might think is a good idea. I have no idea if this game is that thing but it seems plausible.

  4. Ejia says:

    I always thought that the snakedogs in New Vegas were cute, and it’s nice to see more puptiles out there.

  5. Stevostin says:

    Very nice. Just one note if any one at Coffee Stain is reading : one minor margin for improvement on the animal animation is that nearly no animals, even mammals, ever “smooth track” a moving item like that (when what I assume is a tourist ship off cam leaving). It’s either very subtle for predatory watching a far away prey, or the head moves suddenly if you catch their attention, but most of the times they do that typical animal thing of apparently not watching, starring inside somewhere in the emptiness.

    • dethtoll says:

      I think that might be done for artistic reasons. It’s much easier to show that an animal is tracking something by moving its head.

    • Baggypants says:

      I do, and I’m a mammal.

  6. Captain Narol says:

    That teaser really made me curious, I hope the final game will be interesting and my cup of tea !

    If only it could be a modern remake of Creatures with Dinosaur/Dragonlike beasts then I would be in heaven !!