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Coffee Stain tease us with a very Satisfactory lizard-pup


We’re in the run-up to GDC and E3 again, so that means it’s teaser trailer season. Today’s ad-for-an-ad comes from Goat Simulator and Sanctum studio Coffee Stain, and I think they might have the camera pointed the wrong way, although I kinda hope they don’t, because I have very little interest in anything but this adorable alien lizard/lobster/puppy thing now.

It’s fairly safe to assume that with a name and logo like that, plus the largely-unseen industrial activity happening just off-screen in the teaser that Satisfactory is some kind of industrial construction/management game, and yet I cannot bring myself to care about the mystery of the unseen game-to-be because of that damnably cute alien puppy-thing and its love of juicy fruits.

The animation on it is just lovely, right down to how the plates/fins on its back flare up when it sneezes (and that is one of the cutest little puppy sneezes ever). Just give me a game about this little critter and its quest to snack on all the delicious fruits in a massive alien jungle, and I’ll be happy.

Coffee Stain are predictably evasive about details in their press release, stating that if we could tell anything about the game at this point, then it wouldn’t be a very good teaser. It’ll also be ‘done when it’s done’, making it all doubly vague.

Still, if the vague half-promise (likely to be dashed against the rocks of reality) of spending more time with my perfect alien pet appeals, there is apparently an alpha-testing signup page here couched in nefarious future corporate-speak, and with the promise of the first invites going out some time in May.

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Dominic Tarason


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