Far Cry 5: The Island Of Fred Durst

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It’s only day two for Far Cry 5‘s Arcade Mode, a combination of map-maker and sharing tool which enables anyone to play anything made by anyone else from within the main game. As such, the pickings are currently slim – but even so, we already have an all-time winner.

Unless, for some reason, you don’t share the belief that a volcanic island populated exclusively by homicidal Limp Bizkit frontmen is the pinnacle of human creativity.

I cannot say if ‘Uganda’, a short map created by one Steep26, is deliberately as epochal as I interpreted it to be. Were I more cynical, I might say that it has all the hallmarks of someone quickly testing out the system, uploading their first, hesitant mucking-about and then moving on with a shrug.

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But no, I choose to interpret its use of just a single enemy character model, one minuscule island in an infinite ocean and a finale that involves jumping into the mouth of an enormous, untextured volcano as an act of sublime artistry.

Because, you see, that character model’s backwards baseball cap, forgettably plain t-shirt, shining pate and dour grimace bears an uncanny resemblance to Limp Bizkit singer Fred Durst. Being attacked by over a dozen Durst clones at once is probably a collective nightmare we all shared at some point in the early noughties, and now that terrible dream has come true.

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It’s a short map, and an easy one if you choose to stealth it – you can just park around the back of the island then leg it up the volcano, though do look out for Rooftop Dursts. If you choose to run’n’gun it, however, it’s a matter of moments before every Durst on the island rushes you – a steely challenge indeed. A Durstlaught, if you will.

Here’s a recording of one of my experiences on the Isle Of Durst – I’m pleased to say I slaughter quite a few Dursts before they eventually swamp me while I’m low on ammo. The Durst-Slayer, they call me.

I am also pleased to say that I have since been able to Durstassinate every Durst on the Isle of Dursts, before climbing up Mount Durst and throwing myself into its fiery maw, which is of course the only fitting finale after murdering an army of Fred Dursts.

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Of course, the sun-kissed island setting strongly evokes the original Far Cry, and now I must demand a mod for that game which replaces every single enemy with Fred Durst.

17 Comments

  1. comic knight says:

    Bravo for turning every Fred Durst into a Limp Bizkit!

    • Guvornatwo says:

      Hands up, hands down, this is the is a great map. Let’s hope they’ll be rollin’ out another one soon.

      • FredSaberhagen says:

        There’s sure to better mods than this coming out – you’ve just got to have faith.

        On an unrelated note did you guys get that pop up informing you that RPS uses cookies Now? You can take that cookie…

    • April March says:

      This reminds me of that one time Fred Drust almost died during a hurricane that hit a rock festival. He arrived in his own car for some reason, just as the hurricane was arriving at the grounds, and was bodily hoisted upwards, holding to a tree for dear life. Worst, no one saw their predicament, as all attention was turned to the band Kansas, who was playing at the time.

      Fortunately, a tragedy was averted when members of Kansas spotted him in the tree and warned everyone about Durst in the wind.

  2. SlugMan says:

    Maybe the map title is a lazy reference to the terrible “Uganda Knuckles” meme?

    • Alec Meer says:

      We did worry about this, but there doesn’t seem to be anything in the map itself to support it. Volcano (and Durst) aside, it does resemble real Ugandan islands. Clearly, I hope to God I haven’t missed something though.

      • Michael Fogg says:

        But Uganda is a land-locked nation

      • MrBehemoth says:

        Whilst the mod seems to be fairly tame and not relevant to the meme, it’s hard to see a reason that it’s not a reference to that awful trash-fire. I’m not sure how I feel about RPS being unsure how RPS feels about it…

  3. Spuzzell says:

    You did well, but in the heat eventually your raging Durst overcame you.

    • DanceCommander says:

      While not the hero that this comments section needs, you are indeed the hero we deserve.

  4. Frosty Grin says:

    Alright, partner!

  5. Slander says:

    I have a recurring nightmare wherein I’ve died and been damned for my many sins (including eating the last piece of unagi at the sushi buffet and farting in a packed bus) and, when I arrive on Old Scratch’s doorstep, what I see is disturbingly similar to the screenshots on this article. The only real difference is that, in my dreams, I don’t have a shotgun.

  6. NuclearSword says:

    The term “Rooftop Dursts” brings me far more joy than it has any right to :)

    I genuinely hope this article spurs a sub-genre of Far Cry 5 Arcade Mode “mini-mods”, as people try to come up with ever-more-outlandish Fred Durst-based challenges.

  7. fuzzyfuzzyfungus says:

    Ok, someone fetch the exterminatus fleet. At least in the grim darkness of the 41st millennium there isn’t Nu Metal.