Steam Charts: Change Is Possible Edition

Apparently they probably had big spines on their necks, making them a far less enticing prospect for slides.

“Miss, Miss, it’s so sunny, can we have Steam Charts on the field?”

“NO. Sit down and write about popular PC games in this oppressively hot room until the DAY YOU DIE.”

Well, whatever Bless was, it’s gone now. Three spots last week, disappeared entirely this week. You mayflies. But while there are no surprises in the top spot, this week yet again sees no CS:GO, no GTA V, none of the weary-inducing regulars. Which is absolutely no bloody good for a column so reliant on running gags. However, it’s great for celebrating new games selling well!

10. The Forest

Hello, excuse me, have you seen my genitals anywhere?

Clinging on by its fingernails, after being at #9 last week, The Forest continues to deservedly profit with its release version.

The only problem being, those aren’t its own fingernails it’s clinging on with.

9. Subnautica

These are the game's bestest creatures don't @ me

Oh hello completely lovely and splendid Subnautica! How lovely to see you back. And for a nice reason, too.

Subnautica deserves to sell squillions of copies either way, but the reason for the re-entry is a combination of a 20% discount over the weekend, plus teaming up with Whale & Dolphin Conservation to do a fundraiser.

15% of the game’s profits this weekend went toward WDC, and that’s still happening for a few more hours if you’re reading this quickly enough. If not, I guess you could just give them some money anyway!

8. House Flipper

Our neighbours are having an extension and a new driveway built. I feel tempted to invite the builders (at the time of writing arguing about how much sand to put in the cement mixer) over to play this, to hear their scoffing fury when they see that all the most difficult tasks in the trade are reduced to pressing the left mouse button. And then drinking their rage to fuel my next review.

Oh good gravy, I thought we were done with this nonsense. At #10 last week, I thought all the mad weirdo humans who wanted to play a version of Wario Ware designed by accountants would have spent their money.

But no, it’s climbed back up again, as more people prove they want to simulate screwing radiator pipes to walls rather than, I don’t know, have some fun.

7. Tom Clancy’s The Division

Cars cars everywhere, and not a drop to drive

I really rather liked The Division, with all its daft faults and idiotic plotting. I proved it by writing a huge long article listing everything that’s wrong with it. Imagine what fun it must be being my wife.

5. Warhammer 40,000: Inquisitor – Martyr

Who is building the walls this high? It's a colossal waste of resources.

You might think it hypocritical for a PC gaming website called “Rock, Paper, Shotgun” to criticise anyone else’s name. But speaking as a hypocrite who was partly responsible for that enormity, Warhammer 40,000: Inquisitor – Martyr is a really fucking stupid name.

It was also a really mediocre game when I tried an earlier version last year. It’s out of early access now, so I really should return for another look to see if its had forty tons of clunk removed from its clunkfest.

4. Jurassic World Evolution

'Did you see Love Island?' 'NO I DIDN'T! What is WRONG with you, Martin.'

Anyone born before – I don’t know, 1996? – will surely bristle just at the notion of a movie-game tie-in. The further the start date goes back, the bristlier the bristle. Mine reaches back to 1977, so I remember the shitshow that was the 80s’ US Gold games, scrappy side-scrolling platformers churned out to match every action movie, depicted in upward of four colours. So it is that I still expect Jurassic World Evolution to be exactly that.

And yet people seem quite excited about this one. Which is just plain peculiar. It’s not even out yet, and already at #4. Despite costing a horrific £45. Here’s video castle, Matthew Person, having a play:

6 & 3.Vampyr

Sadly the end of this game of 'there's a spot on your tie' ended with Mr Hat having his entire head flicked off.

They’re going to be so embarrassed when they realise they spelt “Vampire” wrong in the title!

Somehow occupying two slots without being a AAA game (throwing even more confusion into my madcap theories about how this phenomenon occurs) Vampyr is selling well despite being a bit bleh.

2. Raft

Mr Luxury Yacht

Yay Raft! So pleased this most charming and calming of survival sims is in the de-facto top spot! And holding its place near the top of the charts. I imagine it’s in a large part because even at the start of its early access it’s a very splendid time.

But it’s probably mostly because of those cute pics of my kid roleplaying the game in the front garden last week. While Raft the actual game is only seeing bug fixes recently, Raft: Front Garden Edition has received a significant patch adding in a magnetic hook on his fishing line, and paper cut-out fish with paperclips all over them.

1. Plunkbat

This weekend I treated myself to some full volume Transplants in the car, with the windows down, so sorry the Longwell Green and Bitton areas in which this occurred. You’d understand if most of the time you’re in the car you’re required to listen to Disney soundtracks.

I’m not sure how obvious to be. Not using Diamonds & Guns so give me that. But gone for DJ because it captures how Transplants are Terrorvision without the nausea.

The Steam Charts are compiled via Steam’s internal charts of the highest grossing games on Steam over the previous week.


  1. Midi_Amp says:

    The Jeff Goldblum effect. Plain and simple.

  2. James Allen says:

    It’s because Jurassic World Evolution is developed by Frontier, who did Planet Coaster and people are expecting the same level of excellence based on track record and preview videos.

    • Zorgulon says:

      That’s a lot of people who are soon to be disappointed, then, judging by Fraser’s review. It doesn’t seem to follow much of Planet Coaster’s vast options for customisation and creativity at all, which is a bit of shame in my view.

      • Archonsod says:

        The biggest complaint people usually have about Planet Coaster is that they put far too much focus on the creative elements with the actual park management being rather lacking. Fraser makes it sound like they’ve went the opposite direction this time, so presumably those people will now be happy.
        So presumably if they ever do a cross over where you can design your own rollercoaster and use it to feed a T-Rex some screaming snacks they’d manage to satisfy everyone.

        • Zorgulon says:

          Yeah, but it also seemed to me from the review that the park management aspect wasn’t great either.

          Most of the sandbox mode being locked til the end of the campaign missions, shallow visitor satisfaction, low stakes for dinosaur escapes – which is surely a big part of the appeal? … I dunno it just seems a bit of a missed opportunity.

  3. unacom says:

    As a father of four, I can unequivocally relate to your need to listen to some music of your own (in the car or elswhere).
    Also Plunkbat-screenshot is double-platinum!

    • juan_h says:

      “Can I listen to music please?”

      What? No! This is five minute drive, for heaven’s sake. We’ll hardly have finished a song before we get there. Is it really so hard to sit in silence and look out the window for a few minutes?

      “Of course you can, sweetheart. Just let me finish backing out of the garage first.”

  4. tigerfort says:

    Just came here to click “like” on the mouseover text for “House Flipper”, and the garden fort raft.

    • montfalcon says:

      Thank you for pointing those out! They have been so steadily decreasing in frequency over the past year or two that I don’t even bother to check for them anymore.

  5. Nauallis says:

    Amazing what a sequel announcement will do for sales…

    I’m eagerly awaiting whatever review RPS posts about Inquisitor-Martyr (which I agree is an ingeniously imbecilic name).

  6. swampzero says:

    Hey John Walker how come you’re still posting Steam Charts given your very strong opposition to Steam’s cowardly stance over games curation? Did you not consider turning your disapproval into direct action and stop making articles about Steam?

    • napoleonic says:

      If I remember correctly, making money from something means that you endorse it. Presumably John makes money from writing about Steam, therefore he must endorse Steam’s actions, so we can assume that he has changed his mind and all is well with the world. Otherwise, the argument about Steam endorsing products just because they don’t refuse to sell them would sound rather silly.

      • John Walker says:

        It’s a clever technique, both of you, making arguments so stupid that to respond you have to start explaining from what words are onward.

        But perhaps we can avoid even having to explain the achingly obvious points that saying “these games have sold well” is in no way the same as selling said games, and start with: I DIDN’T SAY STEAM SHOULDN’T SELL MORALLY DUBIOUS GAMES.

        Maybe, perhaps, maybe that could influence the wobbling idiocy of your faux complaints? And yet, somehow I doubt it.

        • napoleonic says:

          I know you didn’t. You said, “They need to pull themselves together, and start taking some responsibility for the means by which they make their money”. I’m not seeing on what grounds you think you are defending yourself.

          • John Walker says:

            Yes. “Take responsibility”. Not, “Stop doing it”. Not, “Refuse to sell certain games.”

            But, “Take responsibility”.

            It’s awfully complicated I realise. Perhaps even more so if you don’t take that quote that could perhaps be misinterpreted at a stretch out of context from an article that repeatedly stated that it didn’t matter either way with regards to the arguments being made.


    • Sandepande says:

      Why? Has Steam lost its importance in PC gaming?

  7. Lawlcopt0r says:

    Your child is very adorable :3

  8. napoleonic says:

    I really rather liked The Division, with all its daft faults and idiotic plotting. I proved it by writing a huge long article listing everything that’s wrong with it. Imagine what fun it must be being my wife.

    A genuine laugh-out-loud moment there! Thanks.

  9. Cederic says:

    I’m amused that with all the recent online discussions about asset flipping games a best seller is called House Flipper.

    But more than that, I’m delighted to find out that paper fish attached to string on a stick are still a thing! Hurrah!

  10. TheBeret says:

    If Totally Accurate Battlegrounds gets on this next week it’ll make my whole year

Comment on this story

HTML: Allowed code: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>