No news is goose news

One of the most hotly-anticipated games was not, you might have noticed, on show at E3. Where was it? Is it okay? Should we worry? Are our dreams dashed? What am I supposed to do now? How could this happen to us? Is this what we deserve? Steady on! Relax. Breath in, hold for two, and out. It’s fine: Untitled Goose Game is still coming.

One can only imagine that developers House House (who previously made Push Me Pull You) have been constantly interrupted this past week by well-wishers bringing them soup, Lucozade, and grapes, assuming that they’d fallen poorly. Don’t worry! Here, take a breath and watch that wonderful 2017 announcement trailer again:

I cannot stop laughing at this absolute bastard of a goose. It’s a stealth game, obviously, but one starring terrible waterfowl which disrupts, bullies, and robs innocent villagefolk to serve its goosey machinations. In this video, the goose is largely arranging a picnic for itself – but also spitefully ruining a few things. Wonderful.

But what’s the news? The lads of House House tweeted today:

That’s good enough for me. RELAX!

This is my final news post of a 12-day working week which has included two 5am finishes so I’m posting what makes me happy, and what makes me happy is that goose. See you in hell!

Disclosure: I’m… I wouldn’t say I’m friends with the House House lads, because I don’t know if one of them will ever forgive me for squeezing a great glob of mayonnaise into his mouth, but I do know and like them and have shared an Airbnb with them. But really, that mayonnaise play, just disgraceful. I was not polite about it either.


  1. grimdanfango says:

    PHEW! Thank you for your dedication to bringing us the most IMPORTANT news Alice.

  2. DrJ3RK says:

    Well, that is good news. I really want to play this.

  3. Ghostwise says:

    If there is indeed a remake or sequel to Top Gun, maybe the goose could cross over.

  4. klops says:

    Thank goodness!

  5. Solidstate89 says:

    I don’t know if one of them will ever forgive me for squeezing a great glob of mayonnaise into his mouth

    Geez Alice, why didn’t you just kick his dog while you were at it?

    • pepperfez says:

      These are the kind of experiences one must have to truly understand the mind of the goose, a swirl of constant, uncaused malice.

  6. parsley says:

    Oh, phew! Finally, the most crucial news from E3.

  7. Someoldguy says:

    Excellent. The lack of news was driving me quackers.

  8. podbaydoors says:

    This is why Rock, Paper, Shotgun remains my first stop for all computer-gaming news.

  9. racccoon says:

    Quack! quack!

  10. fuzzyfuzzyfungus says:

    “Well done. Not only did you kill the five guests have a picnic you have acted as an agent of terror and grief.”

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