GTA Online tapping top DJs for player-run nightclubs

Hip and happening disc jockeys including The Black Madonna will ride the wheels of steel in GTA Online when the next major update lets players run their own nightclubs. Crimefolk will get to buy, design, and run clubs, turning them into moneymakers (and maybe handy fronts laundering money from less honest ventures). The Black Madonna, Solomun, Tale Of Us, and Dixon will all appear in clubs playing sets, which is pretty nifty. But god, I’d love a cheesy DJ spinning Agadoo, The Locomotion, Y.M.C.A., Oops Up Side Your Head, Cotton Eye Joe, Time Warp… all the church disco classics.

I wouldn’t imagine nightclubs to be big social hubs, mind, given that all other GTA Online businesses are invitation-only instances. Here’s how Rockstar explain it:

“Nightclubs are the perfect cover for any other operation you might have going, so get in on the ground level as a business partner to open up a brand new establishment, and help the DJ’s make their shows the best ever. Run your nightclub business from setup, design, staffing and promotion; the more popular the club, the faster your secure wall safe will fill up. Management is honest work, a tidy way to keep income from your more seedy ventures with Disruption Logistics, The Open Road, SecuroServ and Free Trade Shipping Co. looking clean as fresh laundry.”

That sounds like it’ll give us more control over clubs than most business buildings, but I probably wouldn’t expect serious club management and deep customisation. Businesses in GTA Online mostly exist as engines powering crimes, though I would be delighted if this does turn out to be some sort of SimClub.

I’d also be delighted if Rockstar expand this beyond dance clubs and DJ sets, getting into other genres and venues; my biker club would be a cracking gig spot to cram in a few dozen rowdy punks. And if I could yell at DJs to play my favourite songs… Ah, but if wishes were horses, The Monkey’s Paw would be a different and possibly scarier story.

GTA Online is due to add nightclubs some time in July. Ahead of that, players can join the ‘Guest List’ by signing into GTA Online before July 2nd. That’ll then bring opportunities for bonus free cash, new clothes, discounts on upcoming vehicles, and other odds and ends.

For now, hey, here’s a neat tune from The Black Madonna last year:

Disclosure: Some pals of mine work at Rockstar on… stuff? Honestly not sure.

12 Comments

  1. Seafoam says:

    So the nightclubs are nothing but a cosmetic change, and in reality it’s more of the same “clubs” that cost way too much and require shark cards or 60 hours of grinding to own.

    I was kinda interested at first for actual nighclubs in a videogame, but then I realized that any manner of club inhabitated by GTA-online types might as well be hell on earth. I’m kinda relieved it the same old crap but with just some disco music slapped on.

  2. Crusoe says:

    Good idea, but shallow, and expensive for the player.

    That’s Rockstars’ GTA V in a nutshell.

    • Mokinokaro says:

      I fear it’s going to be Rockstar’s thing from now on.

      I fully expect Read Read Redemption 2 to revolve around the MMO portion over the singleplayer (which will be decent, but the MMO will end up with far more polished gameplay that will never be ported to the offline players just like GTA V.)

      • Crusoe says:

        Which version of RDR2 do you mean? The one they’ll release to consoles, or the PC version they’ve refused to announce in order to sell the same game to lots of people twice?

  3. SomeDuderr says:

    I’m… Wat?

    How will this work? I mean… People go to a nightclub IRL because it’s a social thing. Some go to hang out with friends, some with the hope to pick up someone from the opposite gender, et cetera.

    Why would you go to a nightclub in a videogame? I mean, if there’s some exclusive deal going on, where some producer might offer music only via a nightclub in this game, then… yes, I suppose you might show up to hear it? It’d still be the dumbest thing ever, but hey, kids are dumb and it might work.

    I suppose I just don’t understand how this would work, but I’ve also never played GTA 5 online.

    • Premium User Badge

      alison says:

      People also go to night clubs so they can listen to awesome music really fucking loud. And take drugs in a safe space. And watch spectacular light shows or explore some wacky interior design or just space out gazing at optical illusions. Sometimes they just want to dance on a real wooden floor. Or relax in a cozy armchair or hammock. Or a million other things that have pretty much nothing to do with socializing.

      Not that many of those experiences can be replicated very well virtually. But then again, the vast majority of the world isn’t Berlin or London or NYC or whatever. If you’re into techno and live in the rest of the world where the only thing DJs ever play is Alice’s church disco, or if you do live in a big city but aren’t physically able to head out, or if you just don’t have the time… why not go clubbing in-game? God knows it can’t be less interesting than watching Boiler Room videos.

      Unfortunately, although I love the theory of in-game nightclubs (it’s very cyberpunk), pretty much every game I’ve ever played doesn’t get it right. Some of them have decent music, some even attempt a light show, but they all miss the sensory overload, the disorientation that a good club provides – intoxicated or not. Occasionally a game will briefly go there by accident when they are trying to do a PTSD scene or a monster closet or something, but to capture a dancefloor it should be relentless. I guess some titles like NaissanceE or recently that Mirror Drop game have tried to conjure a constant sense of unease through the environment, but imo they are too artsy fartsy and miss the fun aspect. Maybe games need to add a closing eyes or blinking effect, let you loll your head a bit… i don’t know, something? I think it’s a really interesting challenge. I still hope to come across a good facsimile at some point.

      • Premium User Badge

        kfix says:

        If you haven’t, you need to read this and try Slave of God. Nails the nightclub experience IMO…. link to rockpapershotgun.com

        • Premium User Badge

          alison says:

          Just had a quick playthrough before work and it’s totally got me fired up for the day. This is exactly the sort of stuff I am looking for! Awesome tip, thanks.

      • airmikee99 says:

        I doubt it’s even possible for a video game to truly capture the nightclub experience, I’ve never even seen a movie hits the mark either. I’ve driven down a freeway at 140mph, no driving game comes close to that feeling. I’ve talked to a few people that had to kill a human being in war, they’ve never played a video game that comes close to that feeling (some were even offended at the comparison.)

        I’ve crashed countless cars in countless video games, sometimes it’s even been thrilling and exciting. But the time I was passenger in a small truck that fish tailed on a dirt road, went through a railroad tie fence at 30mph, and flipped upside down after hitting a ditch nose first left me laughing and nervously shaking the rest of the day. No video game can recreate the feeling of being suspended by a seatbelt in an upside down vehicle.

        The brief adrenaline high from doing something badass in a video game is nothing compared to the prolonged adrenaline rush from doing something amazingly fucking badass in real life. Some things are just beyond the reach of a digital experience right now. Video games can only pretend to give those experiences to people that have never really lived through it. Someone that’s never spent any time in the nightclub lifestyle may think GTA V has accomplished something, but someone that has lived it will always know the game is entirely fictional.

    • Evan_ says:

      I dare to risk it’ll work like buying any establishment in any GTA since it became 3D. You buy the place, you do missions related to it and it starts to generate money and/or repeatable missions.

      Wait, that sounded grumpy, so I must add that I bought GTA V recently, and having a blast online. Surely it’s a pay to win hell if you are the kind of player who can only have fun once the best stuff is unlocked, but it’s great if you aren’t.

      Sure it’s not deep or challenging, but a joyful sandbox to mess around in.

  4. racccoon says:

    Get your nano pad set out and start feeding it. :)

  5. Ghostwise says:

    This is indeed a neat mix, ta.

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