Podcast: The naughty games we weren’t allowed to play


Psst. I know mum said you weren’t allowed to listen to those hellions on your favourite podcast anymore, but the hosts of the Electronic Wireless Show won’t tell if you don’t. This week we’re talking about the games we weren’t allowed to play as youngsters, but did anyway. Alice suffered strict rationing of The Sims 2, and Dave (oh hello Dave) was looked at with concern while playing Silent Hill. Brendan’s parents didn’t seem to care. Let’s all go to Brendan’s house. He’s got GTA 2.

And we’re still sneaking out of bed to play games today. Alice has been kidnapping policemen in Cultist Simulator, Dave has been scurrying around a dungeon as a musical mouse in Ghost of a Tale, and Brendan has given up booting zombies from the rooftops of Dying Light. Probably only one of these games is suitable for children. Also, keep your earholes primed for some bonus facts about axolotls.

You can listen above, or go straight to Soundcloud where you can download it for later.

You can also get the RSS feed here or find it on iTunes, Stitcher or Pocket Casts. Music is some sick filth by Jack de Quidt. Don’t let your children listen to it!

Want to write in with questions or suggest a theme for a future episode? Now you can, to podcast@rockpapershotgun.com.


Dave is our new guides writer – hello Dave!

King’s Quest II is an old Sierra adventure game

Antichamber was good wunnit?

Nights of Azure 2 is the worst game Dave ever reviewed

Have you played… The Sims 2?

Silent Hill is scary even behind the scenery

Fortnite is discussed on Good Morning Britain

The children are falling asleep in school

Giants: Citizen Kabuto was an odd one

Not including a tutorial in Cultist Simulator was a contentious decision

Nic Rueben’s Cultist Simulator review

John’s Ghost of a Tale review

Ghost of a Tale is designed by a former Dreamworks animator

Redwall is NOT Animals of Farthing Wood meets Dark Souls

Axolotls are amaaaazing

No, really

The visual novel about the is called RB Axolotl

Dying Light 2 hopes to improve on everything

The games our listeners weren’t allowed to play

The most exciting PC games still to come in 2018


  1. juan_h says:

    My parents never outright forbid anything, but when I was very young I got the distinct impression that my mother did not approve of video games. There were a couple of times when my father brought home a second- or third-hand games console, a Pong machine in one case and an Atari 2600 in the other. The consoles would sit around the house for a few weeks, we’d get to play with them occasionally, and then they would mysteriously disappear without explanation. I don’t think that my mother disapproved of the content of Pong or Missile Command so much as she’d rather that my brothers and I were playing outside.

    She mellowed significantly with age. Or it might be more accurate to say that she mellowed as her children aged. We got an Apple IIc when I was in middle school and she never objected to anything I played on it. She even bought me games sometimes. Decent ones, even, though they were mostly bloodless strategy affairs. The really amazing thing, however, is that when I was in high school she let my youngest brother buy a Sega Genesis and Mortal Kombat. If ever there were a game that I was sure would provoke maternal moral outrage, Mortal Kombat was it. But when I asked her about it, she just laughed and said “Have you seen the blood? It’s like a cartoon.”

    The important thing here is that my brother got to decapitate people and exhibit their spinal columns whereas I was not allowed to watch a big green pixel bounce back and forth. I have never quite gotten over the injustice.

  2. aircool says:

    Video games didn’t really exist in my childhood. I suppose the ZX Spectrum arrived during my teens, but it didn’t have tits and it wasn’t a football, so I rarely played ‘computer’ games. Anyway, Space Lego was still kinda new and far better than any Speccy games.

  3. Jernau Gurgeh says:

    When I grew up computer games were very tame – I don’t think my Mum was bothered about us playing Dizzy, Spikey Harold or Ollie & Lisa, and she even joined in. My Dad was not interested in something that he said was going to take his job… though I’m not sure how a ZX Spectrum 128+ could in any way replace a coach builder and mechanic.

    It’s more interesting times in my sister’s house nowadays, with her young tweens and teens recently getting a PS4, especially as I let them have access to my PSN account chock full of games with oodles of death, sex and horror. Of course, I was a responsible uncle and gave her my recommendations on their suitability – she said that she thought that “Hotline Miami looks… errr, interesting.”

    • klops says:

      They weren’t all that tame. Eg. late 80s Persian Gulf Inferno was Die Hard/Under Siege/whatever against Arab terrorists on an oil rig. A bit earlier Barbarian was rather brutal sword duel game with a great emphasis on decapitation.

      And when speaking about decapitations you can’t miss Moonstone! Ok, it might be too late, but anyways. Moonstone! It had brilliant cartoon violence with loose heads and limbs and skewerings and splatterings and shouting and blood. Lots of blood.

    • airmikee99 says:

      Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards was released in 1987. That’s the first ‘inappropriate game’ I remember.

    • Jernau Gurgeh says:

      I do recall a game being released, based on 2000AD’s Nemesis The Warlock, in which you hack and slash a load of minions to death in order to open up the portal to the next level… but the minions didn’t disappear when you killed them. Their corpses stayed on screen! And sometimes you had to jump on them in order to access another platform! Absolutely shocking, and all in gory 8-bit pixellated detail.

      The horror. The horror.

  4. TheApologist says:

    My dad thought games were bad but computers would be important, so he took the line that consoles were a waste of money but anything with a keyboard that you could code or word process on was just about acceptable. Dad and I profoundly did not get on and he’s gone now, so it’s unexpected and oddly moving realise on reflection that it was he that introduced me to PCs and my favourite and longest lasting pastime.

  5. MrThingy says:

    I remember not being allowed to buy Mega-Lo-Mania because my Mum didn’t like the idea of multiple gods…

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