This week, you can stop being human and instead be some spectacular everyday objects. Become a fearless umbrella taking on a storm, or become a roomba looking for much more from life. If, rather than being a human or an object, you’d rather make humans then you can try building your own custom boyfriend – one that will love you no matter what, and be with you forever. But if after all that you decided that being human is what you want after all, you can try to fit in with a group of shady pirates on a boat, or attempt to understand someone who doesn’t want to be understood, someone who would much rather be alone. Explore these worlds and be someone (or something) else for a change… Need more no-money gaming? Check our list of the best free games you can download and play on PC right now.
Roomba Quest by St33d
Ever wonder what it would be like to be a Roomba? Spending your days sucking up various crumbs and figuring out how to upload your consciousness to the internet. Wait, what…? In Roomba Quest your ultimate goal is to upload yourself to the word wide web – along with the consciousnesses of all your fellow household appliances.
The items you spend your time sucking up from the floor range from basic trash to bits of treasure that you might need to use in the future, because there’s much more to this house than just mess to clean up. There are rats hiding in the walls who you can talk to, a whole room full of other appliances, and – somewhere out there – there’s internet access.
You’ll need to talk to everyone you come into contact with, read books to improve your knowledge and well as your power, and figure out a way to get to the promised land… to the internet… If you do manage that, the game isn’t over, as there’s still much to suck up and explore.
Roomba Quest is a funny little game that takes you into the role of a vacuum, and then far, far beyond.
Thunder Bella by EvilPaper
In Thunder Bella you play a small umbrella fighting against a large, evil thundercloud. You can shoot two rockets at a time upwards toward the top of the screen (like all umbrellas). These rockets are used to attack the cloud’s weak points – its eyes – as well as defend yourself from the balls of energy that the thundercloud creates. These thunder-filled orbs will then break into smaller balls until you have completely destroyed them. Occasionally, they’ll also drop power-ups.
These power-ups are key, as each will help you directly hit the thundercloud. Ice-cream power-ups will freeze the thundercloud for a small amount of time, strawberries are just yummy, and hearts will give you more life. Bees will give you double damage temporarily, but a rocket pack will blast out three rockets at once.
The power-ups don’t make the game a breeze, though, as the cloud also strikes the ground with lightning, and if you are in the way you’ll be damaged. After three hits with either lightning or orbs you’ll die and have to restart. Defeating this storm is a difficult challenge, but Thunder Bella has that ‘one more play’ appeal going for it which will keep you trying again and again.
Sala by Justinas Malijonis
Maybe you’d like to play a game where you’re a human again? That’s cool too. In Sala you can become a doctor aboard a ship that you’re told is broken.
You’re pretty new to the life of a pirate, but as the ship’s doctor you don’t feel you have much to worry about – until the ship ‘breaks’ suspiciously close to the shore of an island. Making matters worse, the captain appears to be up to no good, likely engaging in some shady business.
Even with the ship aground, the captain forces you and the rest of the crew to stay on board while he goes to find locals to fix it. You must find a way to escape and figure out what’s really going on. As you’re unsure of how many of the crew are in on the captain’s deal, you’re all on your own when it comes to finding a way to escape.
Sala has some wonderful voice acting as well as some very fun puzzles to solve – hopefully you can find your way off the ship!
Let’s Go There And Wander Nowhere by Polychroma Games
In Let’s Go There And Wander Nowhere, you play as a person who doesn’t quite understand the individual they are talking to, and yet must.
You discover a burning bus and, nearby, a person sitting in the middle of the road. This person needs help – she needs someone – yet you are the only one around. You can choose to try to talk to her, reason with her, get her out of danger. But what do you do when people don’t want to be helped? What do you do when you are a stranger – someone not to be trusted?
If you’re able to win her trust, or at least get her to come with you, you’ll get to explore the places that one may call home. A lot of what this individual said didn’t make sense to me, and a lot of the choices I made never questioned this, but instead supported her. You can choose to question what is going on, to see if she’ll explain or be patient as you try to understand. Or, you can choose to leave. Your time is valuable, and she will remind you of that. But you can choose to stay, to listen, to attempt to piece together what’s going on.
Either way, this little first person narrative adventure is both meaningful and well worth your time.
Dr. Frank’s Build a Boyfriend by Heiden
If you’d much rather make humans instead of dealing with them, then Dr. Frank’s Build a Boyfriend is a great way to make the boy of your dreams!
You play Dr. Frank, who is definitely a doctor and definitely not crazy. Another thing Dr. Frank definitely is, is recently heartbroken as a result of suddenly being dumped by his angel of a boyfriend. This ex-boyfriend of his not only broke his heart, but also stole all of his resurrection research and is presenting it under his own name, no less.
The only way to fix this massive betrayal is, of course, REVENGE! Instead of letting this guy get away with it, you’re going to create the hottest boyfriend ever – from human remains – and show up at the university lecture to show your ex that he really missed out.
It isn’t difficult to create a boyfriend, as you are a doctor after all (technically). Once you have the boyfriend of your dreams, you need to work out the kinks in taking him to the university. He needs to be dressed, and should probably stop calling you Papa…
Build a Boyfriend is a narrative driven game which quickly turns into a point and click adventure where you search the house for everything you need to prepare. As a scientist, you’ll bump up against a lot of strange projects and research, but surely your new boyfriend is worth it – hopefully he’ll indeed make your ex jealous!
Disclosure: Jupiter Hadley is an apprentice games wizard at Armor Games, helping them to find released free games to sign.