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Steam Charts: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Edition

From: Aunty Jill

Featured post Just another quiet bucolic afternoon in the Steam Charts, where the sun always shines and everyone's always in good spirits!

Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: steam Charts will PAY $2 for evry time u forwad this Article.#

If you do not fwrard this article to TEN of you’re Friens YOU WILL DEFINITELY DIE!!!!!!!11

Sarah Chambers did not foraead this article to TEN OF her frends and she’s was dead the very very next day. But if U do Bill Gates will give $2 to stop the Rain Forests.

10. Divinity: Original Sin 2 – Definitive Edition

The NPCs I feel sorry for are the ones who have to go around putting out all these fires after I've swanned off.

But why won’t someone just tell me what’s different about the Definitive Edition I whinged to my colleagues, in my usual mewling tedious way. “Why, granddad, why not look at these narrated moving screenshots?” they calmly suggested.

9. Shadow Of The Tomb Raider

Drowning in bugs, gasping for air.

Oh boy, are a lot of people about to learn a big lesson about not pre-ordering. We encountered a very buggy mess that desperately needs patching before it’s ready for people to play, despite burying a pretty impressive game.

You can read all about that fun in my Shadow Of The Tomb Raider review. Did that feel awkwardly forced, mentioning the game name in the link? We got told off for being bad at SEO last week, and at least I’m trying.

8. NBA 2K19

Sure, the faces no longer look like terrifying zombies, but when are they going to work on realistic SHORTS? Look at them! They're made of paper!

An annual basketball game no one ever actually likes has charted before it’s released, being pre-ordered for £40, and everything I’ve ever said and done has been a waste of my time.

7. Dragon Quest XI: Echoes Of An Elusive Age – Digital Edition Of Light

Oh god it looks insufferable. How is it not insufferable?

Oh thank the Lord for our amazing video people, because I absolutely could not dredge up a thought to write about this, beyond a full-hearted celebration of its hilarious name. So for everyone who feared that video would replace writing on RPS, IT JUST HAPPENED.

6. Grand Theft Auto V

Admittedly I had to mod this car into the game.

What’s Another Thing You Could Buy Instead Of GTA V Again?

This chicken nappy.

5. The Witcher 3: Wild Blah – Blah Of The Blah Edition

Blah blah blah, blah blah.

Blah blah bloody blah.

4. Plunkbat

How did I never know this existed?! Mark Kozelek (Red House Painters) covering Modest Mouse? Yes!

3. Two Point Hospital

This lady has a very nasty case of the pixels. Is the joke I wanted to write, before realising this could actually be a joke in this game, and then I'd just come across like an idiot. So let's just pretend nothing happened.

A lot of people are, perhaps quite reasonably, comparing this to Theme Hospital. But I feel like this unfairly overlooks the greatest hospital sim game ever made*, ER: The Game. I implore you to follow that link and learn just what you never played.

*It is a terrible game

2. Monster Hunter: World

This monster is called Xeno'jiiva and this has been video games.

Am I going to need to start posting two songs a week? I’ll do it. You see if I don’t. Even the lack of Counter-Strike this week can’t calm me. See…

1. SCUM

I'm sorry, Steam Charts is usually above the depths of toilet humour.

Thank goodness for Fraser Brown, bravely venturing into the latest DayZ-Rust-me-do where others fear to be bothered to tread. He prematurely evaluated SCUM for us (I like to think every time someone new gets that pun for the first time), and found out that, surprisingly, pooping is quite important.

Now I really want to play SCUM.

The Steam Charts are compiled via Steam’s internal charts of the highest grossing games on Steam over the previous week.

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