While flailing helplessly through the ocean of Steam new releases today, I grabbed for a familiar shoreline to catch my breath. It was DLC for so-so Games Workshoppy action-RPG Warhammer 40,000: Inquisitor – Martyr, which I had temporarily mistaken for the rather good turn-based strategy thinger Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus. Before I steeled myself for another dive into those infinite waters, I clicked through, mildly curious about what ‘‘Corrosive Footprints’ might entail.
It turns out, actual footprints. £1.49 to make your murderdude leaving glowing, green footprints behind him as he runs around murdering dudes.
8000 words of heartfelt opinion about footprints follow.
So, yep, those are some footprints, alright. £1.50 to make your guy look like he just ran through a can of paint. Footsteps on the space hulk remind me baby of particle effects.
These are nothin’ but a cosmetic effect, to be clear. Your guy leaves glowing green footprints wherever he goes: that’s what £1.49 gets you, no more no less. A bit of light in Inquisitor’s permanent dusk is welcome, to some extent, but I’m not sure making it look like a radioactive snail crawled all over the joint is the ideal solution.
Compounding this podiatric enigma is that the limeade boots can alternatively be bought with in-game currency, specifically 800 ‘Fate Points’, which you earn from completing missions. 800 isn’t a particularly hellacious sum,, so this paid shortcut’s quite a head-scratcher. Unless you won’t even countenance playing a Warhammer 40,000 game unless you can leave green footprints from minute one, I guess.
Look, this is 40K, and moreover this is Games Workshop: price-gouging is as natural to it as is burning heretics. To that end, there’s a ton of cosmetic stuff I’d cheerfully spend £1.50 on. I’d subvert any and all of these black-of-night things with the Imperial Fists’ jaunty canary-yellow paint job if I could. But paid footprints? You give grimdark a bad name.