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How many hobbits does it take to kill a mammoth?

In Steve Hogarty’s latest premature evaluation, he ascertained that it’s totally worth simulating accurate battles in Totally Accurate Battle Simulator. One question, though, was left unacceptably ignored.

How many hobbits does it take to kill a mammoth?

To make sure the mammoth was comfortable, I simulated each battle in its natural habitat.

One hobbit cannot kill a mammoth.

Ten hobbits cannot kill a mammoth.

One hundred hobbits cannot kill a mammoth.

Two hundred hobbits cannot kill a mammoth (though they can kill my framerate).

Two hundred and thirty?

Job’s a goodun.

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Who am I?

Matt Cox


Matt is the founding member of RPS's youth contingent. He's played more games of Dota than you've had hot dinners.

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