Sonic the Hedgehog is to get a redesign for his Hollywood movie, director Jeff Fowler has said following reactions this week to the first trailer. Seems he and Paramount have made the terrible mistake of listening to the Internet. Oh sure, I was there, slapping out cyberposts about my FASCINATION with the sapphire snuffler’s horrifying human teeth but what anthropomorphic animal isn’t eerie? Aren’t all CGI characters wrong? God, what are they going to do – shave his belly? Squish his head? Give him big puffy gloves? Fill his mouth with jagged hedgeteeth? Pssh. Choose your horror and commit to it.
“Thank you for the support. And the criticism,” Jeff Fowler said on Twitter last night.
“The message is loud and clear… you aren’t happy with the design & you want changes. It’s going to happen. Everyone at Paramount & Sega are fully committed to making this character the BEST he can be…”
He also tagged the post “#gottafixfast”, so good luck to those 3D artists who suddenly gotta do that fixing?
Jeff, mate, come on, it’s the Internet. We’re a daft bunch of bastards. We don’t know what we want from a kids’ film. And if we did, you shouldn’t listen to us anyway. You especially shouldn’t be listening to Sonic fans. You’re directing a film about a talking blue hedgehog able to break the sound barrier, do whatever you want. It’ll always be weird. Don’t let the Internet know you’re afraid. Keep those horrible human teeth.
Fish like the pacu and sheepshead have horrible human teeth and they’re quite charming. It’s good to be reminded that our world is a dream we can’t escape, we can only hope that when it swirls into a new form we don’t become e.g. sentient teeth in a hedgehog’s mouth.