This is the shipping forecast; the synopsis at 5pm. Solid Snake just west of cloak room, expected to move towards Sam Fisher on dance floor before midnight. Wrecking Ball from Overwatch, mild at 1am, becoming rabid with lust at 3am. Agent 47 from Hitman: confused, occasional peeping, becoming horny later. Red Prince: cyclonic, mainly drinking alone, peering at Steve from Minecraft with questionable motives, occasionally licking lips.
(Yes. We did a podcast about romantically matchmaking game characters.)
Alice L reckons Chell from Portal and Lara Croft of Tomb Raider fame would make a good couple, burglarising ancient temples with more efficiency and less breakage. At least until the raging jealousy takes over. Brendan disagrees, putting Lara into a dull and doomed relationship with Adam Jensen from Deus Ex, simply because they’d bond over conspiracy theories. Meanwhile Nate thinks the Stardew Valley protagonist would have an explosive four-month love affair with the little engineer from Factorio, but it would eventually end in disaster. We’re not very good at this. Anyway, that completes the shipping bulletin. Well, it would, if our readers had not also sent in their own filthy ideas.
We’ve also been playing stuff, of course. Brendan is clawing through rubbish bins in Pathologic 2 (don’t ask). Alice L is enjoying the waves of The Sims 4: Island Living. And Nate has been off to the Baltic in both real life and in Crusader Kings 2. Nice.