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I Love You, Colonel Sanders! is the KFC dating sim you didn't know you needed

This crazy dystopian timeline of ours might already be heaving with surreal Subway adverts and ironic Burger King memes, yet I’ve always felt like something is missing.

Today I’ve learned that perhaps the missing ingredient all along was…love? KFC – that glorious hut of chicken that glistens in my dreams like an oily fried mirage – have decided to get into the gaming business with the I Love You, Colonel Sanders!, a dating sim that uses KFC’s advertising budget to turn the Colonel into a svelte hunk who’s looking for love in all the wrong places.

I Love You, Colonel Sanders! popped up on Steam earlier today. In development from Psyop, a little studio probably best known for the endearing tweens-go-away-to-camp romp Camp W, the upcoming dating sim sees you – a lovelorn culinary student, lost in that work-a-day world of fry cookery – attempt to gain the affection of the beauteous Colonel in what looks like a combination between Cooking Mama and Hatoful Boyfriend.

The multi-hour-long game features nine characters who go to school with you, including the chef chapeau-wearing Professor Dog, cooking battles and battle battle, seemingly some sort of cooking career progression system, and a secret ending. But the focus in this tale of romance is, of course, our ancient silver fox.

“Will Colonel Sanders choose you to be his business partner? Or maybe even so much more? Find out in the most finger lickin’ good dating simulator ever created, ” reads its Steam page in a metaphor so on the nose it may as well have been “TIME TO CLUCK”.

“Throughout your journey, you’ll be faced with life-changing decisions that will affect your chances of friendship and love. But be careful! Your choices have real consequences with real animated characters’ feelings at stake.”

No release date just yet, but we’ll keep you posted.

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Emily Gera

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@twitgera

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