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KFC's dating sim, I Love You, Colonel Sanders!, is free and out now

You might be thinking that a dating sim set in a culinary school, where you try to date KFC’s Colonel Sanders, is a bit out of left field, but I’d argue that it’s the perfect setting. Fried chicken is sensual: the nibbling, the bones, the wet wipes. The only possible excuse you can have in not finding yourself overcome with lust at the sight of a 10 piece bargain bucket is if you’re vegan, or if you’ve just come from a Subway and enjoyed a foot-long.

So it makes perfect sense to me that I Love You, Colonel Sanders! is a romantic visual novel. And it’s free today on Steam. Here’s the launch trailer.

I’d have called it “I’m Loving It”, but whatever. That trailer didn’t quite get to the heart of what it is. It’s a visual novel where the Colonel is a proper whizz in the kitchen, creating chicking so sublime that it casts a spell over all the students. Its early in his career, but he’s already planning his global domination of chicken crisping, and begins by mesmerising you. Don’t forget, you’re at school to cook, and when you’re not trying to get into the Colonel’s greasy bucket, you’re there to wow the teachers with your cooking skills.

A lot of the game teases his secret recipe, but they’re not going to give that up in a free game on Steam, are they? Spoilers: the answer is “no” because this isn’t about the eleven herbs and spices. It’s about the secret of the heart. It’s also about marketing fast food, obviously, but the game looks polished and substantial, so fair play.

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Craig Pearson

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I love square sausage, cats, and pretending to climb rocks.

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