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Table Manners trailer shows how physics can make any date a disaster

We’re at a glorious place in history where anything can be a simulation. Table Manners is a game where you’re sat across from a potential paramour on a mission to woo them with your incredible etiquette. The problem: everything is hooked into wonky physics, and your expensive bottle of bubbly might be needed to put out a fire or three. Life is a terrifying thing when you’re a disembodied hand looking for love.

It’s of the genre that Surgeon Simulator popularised, where physics drags your ability to do something in strange and terrifying directions. So you sit down across from your date, make small talk, order a meal, and then horror begins. Table Manners wants you to be the kind of date who does everything for the person opposite, from cutely feeding them a hunk of food, to lighting a candle. If you know anything about dating then you know how wrong things can go when doing that. My partner had to wear an eye patch after we went out for fondue.

There’s a couple of neat ideas in there. The ship looks like a proper challenge to overcome, and the dating app has a nice little choose your own adventure vibe to it. Funnily enough, it doesn’t seem like a game you should play on your own, but with someone sat there beside you cheering you on. Also, it’s not VR, even though it looks a bit like it is, so you needn’t fret if you’re not into that sort of bondage.

If you fancy it, it’s out on Steam sometime next year.

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Craig Pearson


I love square sausage, cats, and climbing pretend rocks.

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