The drones. The drones never stop. An endless parade of mindless lasers, twirling through the sky in patterns imprinted on my eyelids. Every day I face the same barrage, every day one step closer to my dreams. Those dreams used to be of endless sky, of tearing across the void with wild abandon, dual pistols at my side. Now I just want to leave the VR Space Pirate Trainer.
The human tendency to return to baseline dissatisfaction is pathetic. The first time I played Space Pirate Trainer, it turned me into a giggling mess. This is a VR game that lets you bend over backwards to dodge a laser, simultaneously bring up dual pistols to shoot back, then pull out a last second shield. One slick little tap turns your pistols into grenade launchers, sustained beams, or shotguns. With a little training under your belt, you can spot a laser coming towards you, reach behind your back for a lightsaber, and deflect that laser straight back at whichever metal orb was unfortunate enough to take a crack at you. It’s thrilling. It’s electric.
It gets boring after a bit. Space Pirate Trainer is one of the best shooting galleries humans have ever made, and still essential for anyone with cyber goggles, but it gets old quicker than it has any right to. Pulling off physical matrix dodges is a dream come true, but I want to wake up in a future where I can do that without the repetitive wave survival.