There’s a lot about Resident Evil that is laughably bad and has always been that way. “Master of unlocking.” “Almost a Jill Sandwich.” But there’s a ton that’s been updated since its early polygonal days on the PlayStation. Its current remastered version on Steam is the best way to play it. I still haven’t finished it.
I am a massive wimp when it comes to Resident Evil. This is strange, as I didn’t have such problems with Silent Hill, another classic horror game that is arguably far scarier than anything that Resident Evil can churn out, or so I thought.
The first time I played Resi was shortly after my 10th birthday, blissfully ignoring the age rating because we all did. I got to the first zombie, watching him hunched over his corpse snack, before turning to face me with his glassy eyes, moaning at Jill. I shot him down, he got back up, and that was that. I turned it off and shuddered for hours. About half a year later I returned, only to turn off the game again when the dogs crashed through the window. 10-year-old me was a coward.
Years later, I got a GameCube and saw that they remade it. I was more mature, more hardened by Silent Hill and other horror games. Maybe this time I could get further. Maybe this time I could finish it. While the newly redone stuff did make me jump, I somehow found the courage to continue. I was shooting zombies down, progressing through the mansion and everything was fine. That was before I realised I should have been burning corpses. Crimson Heads are incredibly powerful and fast zombies that result from the uncremated dead. They will kill other regular zombies thus making more Crimson Heads, and will always get back up. Did I mention they were fast? I was once again reduced to a shivering wreck.
In the years since. the furthest I ever got was defeating the snake, but at this point I had too many Crimson Heads running around, and I didn’t want to face the music. Everyone has that game that they respect, they like, but they can’t ever complete for some reason. Resident Evil is that game for me, though one day I hope to conquer it.