Like a scampish nephew in a Christmas romantic comedy who keeps popping up pulling pranks on his career-obsessed spinster aunt to remind her that maybe she does want a family and children of her own after all, Destiny 2 gun Telesto has once again developed a bug making it ha-ha-hilariously overpowered. Telesto fires a spray of sticky proximity mines instead of energy zaps, see, and those have caused all sorts of problems over the years by something deep in the gameguts treating mines as enemies. The latest prank lets players use Telesto mines to generate infinite Special ammo.
The latest Telesto prank is connected to Heavy Handed, an armour mod available through a Sundial Obelisk which, when you have another Arc mod equipped, gives the ability: “When surrounded by multiple enemies, defeating an enemy with a Fusion Rifle, Shotgun, Sidearm, or Submachine Gun adds ammo for that weapon to your reserves.” People familiar with past Telesto japes will have already guessed what’s happening: once again, Telesto mines are being registered as enemies. You can shoot a spray of six mines for one Special ammo then shoot those with another gun to get six Special back. It’s a Christmas miracle.
Oh Telesto you rogue, you truly are the besto.
“Telesto… Telesto never changes,” a Bungie community manager responded on Reddit. “We’re investigating.”
I like that Bungie are so committed to a gun which has caused so many problems. Last season, Telesto could combine with a different armour mod to fully charge your Super ability within seconds rather than minutes. Before that, players could fire Telesto mines over the finish line of The Menagerie’s Gauntlet run to count as more players finishing. Before that, in the Blind Well you could blow up Telesto mines to count as enemies and speed through sections. Bungie fix these problems as they pop up, sometimes disabling Telesto for a while if it’s a serious balance problem like the superfast Supers, but it keeps coming back. And then it develops another weird exploit and… round and round we go.
Telesto may not be the PvP monster it once was but I do have a soft spot for it. It’s just fun to fire a spread of crackling proxy mines, okay. And it’s fun to cover a teammate in glowing orbs. And especially fun when run into enemies to detonate the mines and get kills for you.