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21

I played Toss A Coin To Your Witcher at Mordhau players and they hated me

I have no doubt that “Toss A Coin To Your Witcher“, the hit song from the Netflix Witcher series, is destined for greatness. It’s got 11 million views on YouTube. Children are chanting it in the street. The music industry is reeling. Before I came along, though, nobody had grabbed a lute and played the song at impoverished Mordhau players. I expected adoration, and that I might inspire songs of my own. Legends about the brave vanguard of pop culture.

Turns out my audience was a little more hostile.

The first guy loved it, but it all went downhill from there. My favourite was the one who repeatedly shouted “no” at me before walking away, because he was one of the few people who didn’t immediately stab me.

This was possible thanks to the LuteBot mod and Thomas Jonker’s MIDI collection, who I will repay by invoking the Law of Surprise. Same for Reddit user “Mozerath”, whose work I modelled my Geralt costume after in the hope that people would actually recognise the damn song. Or at least pause before chopping my head off.

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Matt Cox

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Matt is the founding member of RPS's youth contingent. He's played more games of Dota than you've had hot dinners.

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