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The Destroy All Humans! PC remake is out now

A cartoony alien levitates a cow over a large puddle in a pretty country landscape

Moaning about bad titles is easy money in this job, but now and then you get to complain because a game’s title pretty much explains itself, critically undermining your introduction.

Destroy All Humans! is a remake of the mid-2000s action game about wacky 1950s aliens who’ve come to Earth to harvest brains and blow everything up for kicks. Its release today is the first time it’ll appear on PC.

You control one of the aliens in a third person action style, running a line of missions in which you brutalise cows, zap humans with cartoon weapons, and blow up towns with heat rays from your classic flying saucer. The originals were very 2000s, from the mission design to the bits where you harvested brain stems by anally probing people until they soiled themselves. The vibe was extremely daft and comical rather than edgy though, and my second hand impression was always that they were a perfectly fine romp but got old fast.

It’s apparently a faithful remake, though it certainly looks a hell of a lot prettier. It’ll add a “restored, much-rumored, never before seen: Lost Mission of Area 42!”, but mostly the focus is on recreating the first game, including the telekinesis powers, the faintly Hitman-y parts where you pose as a human, and the general vibe of being all about the rampage parts of GTA with the campiness dialed up. Apparently players will also get to “(Re)Discover why this game is considered one of the funniest ever created”, which is, shall we say, a bold claim.

The original developers, Pandemic Studios, were best known for the original Star Wars: Battlefront II, but also did a mostly good line in b-game action before being absorbed and destroyed by EA. This remake is led by Black Forest Games, who are best known for Desperados and the Giana Sisters remake, so this is quite a departure for them. I’m honestly not sure what to expect, but I’d be surprised if it’s not a fun bit of harmless mayhem at least. There’s something to be said for an unpretentious game that’s happy to blow things up and fling startled cows at people. Video goblin Colm certainly had a good time with its demo, righteously winding Matthew up in the process.

Destroy All Humans! is due out at 6pm today on Steam and GOG for £25/$30/€30.

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Sin Vega

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Nocturnal remembrer of ancient oddities and curator of unlikely treasures. When not destroying roguelikes with her laser eyes Sin can be found muttering to basils and probably moving house again.

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