51lly 5equ3l: F.3.A.R

Fans of increasingly unadventurous corridor shooters, rejoice! It appears Monolith's horror-FPS F.E.A.R. is due another sequel, and it is to be known as Effthreearrr. Rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it? I have a dream. The dream is that Effthreearr and Thifourf are released on the same day, and the resulting shop displays look so ridiculous that no publisher ever attempts to bring about game titles which look like a rich idiot's personalised numberplate again.

The reveal of F.3.A.R. comes from a scan of a next month page in Spanish gaming mag, which is currently being hosted over on mega-forum NeoGAF. A magazine which probably isn't in Warner's good books right now, I'd have thought: this was surely meant to be an E3 reveal. All the pic confirms is the entirely unsurprising revelation that Alma - sorry, 41m4 - returns, and also some dude who's been shot in the head. Is that someone important? I couldn't finish the second game.

Next month, Bio3hock, followed by Ma33 3ff3ct. Oh, we've done this merry gaggery before, but the foolishness of marketing men never fails to amuse.