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A Postcard Soaked In Kerosene: Far Cry 3's Side-Quests

OK, so I'm starting to warm up to this "Agent Huntley" narrator guy Ubisoft's got talking us through the most recent Far Cry 3 videos. He's basically a more tropical Max Payne - which, given recent events in Max Payne's life, means he's basically just Max Payne. The above headline, for instance, is all Huntley - so strong is my love for his vaguely coherent, gleefully grim ruminations. If ever I have a child, they will be raised from day one on a steady diet of these slurry linguistic soups, such that they may one day have full command of their nonsensically noir-ish powers. But until then, let's talking about Far Cry! There's tons to do, as you'll see below - including hallucinogenic drugs, gambling, and wildlife-slaying. This will be the first game I present to my hypothetical incoherent noir children, I think.

So, with the exception of mixing up drugs, the actual side missions sound fairly standard - but, you know, with a whole, whole lot of it. Among other things, you can capture outposts to aid in fast travel, make deliveries for island natives, craft things, hunt other things, or play cards and risk getting your arm torn off by a seemingly unrelated crocodile.

Granted, side missions can be tricky things. Don't get me wrong: Far Cry 3 looks to have some pretty serious open world chops, but will these missions just be infinitely repeatable filler, or will there be some actual substance lurking in their depths? For now, we'll have to be content with waiting until Far Cry 3's happily DRM-free November 29th launch to find out.

Now then, does anyone know what "shot full of more holes than soda water" means? No, no, don't tell me. It'll spoil the magic.

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