Are games art? Solved.
The formalist/zinester war of games definition? Solved.
Where is the Citizen Kane of games? Solved.
What happens when the uncanny valley is no longer uncanny? Solved.
When will the singularity occur? Solved.
Whoever would have thought that a teaser trailer for a game about England and Australia's biennial cricket grudge match could so deftly resolve the many dilemmas which have for so long haunted videogames and technology?
That's wildly understating the profundity of this achievement, mind you. Everything is different now.
Not only do I feel fully informed about exactly how Ashes Cricket 2013 looks and plays in the wake of this - I also have the answers to my every existential question. Take a seat, watch this, and prepare for your definition of reality to be forever altered.
My God, it's full of stars.
Now, at long last, I know what it is I must do with my life. Thank you, Ashes Cricket 2013 Teaser Trailer. You've taught me so much - about games, about the world, about the universe, but most of all about myself.