Because - haha - there are pirates in it. Hahah. But you thought - haha - that I was saying the next Assassin's Creed game had leaked to Bittorrent. Haha. Hah. Heh. Huh.
I am neither funny or clever. You know it, I know it, the tiny baby Jesus knows it.
Let's just talk about the leaked reveal of Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag instead. It's nothing to do with Henry Rollins, I'm afraid.
As more officially revealed earlier this month, the series is apparently headed to a new time period with a new star. While nothing has been confirmed as yet, both evidence (in the form of a poster acquired by Kotaku) and rumour (a rather more spurious-seeming, and grammar crime-filled, post on Examiner) point to a piratical theme set in what appears to be the Caribbean. Rumour has it the star will be one Edward Kenway, granddaddy of AC3's Connor McNoPersonality, and daddy of the star of AC3's interminable prologue, Haytham Kenway.
While it's unusual for the AC series to head backwards rather than forwards in history, the fact that Haytham had a rather more winning manner than his dreary son, even if it was mired in the Infinite Tutorial Of Doom, hopefully bodes well for Edward. I guess it's a shame that Connor apparently isn't being given a chance to evolve into something other than a scowling plank of wood, but screw it: pirates!
Not sure how being at sea half the time will gel with the AC series' urban free-running, but the naval battles were one on the more entertaining aspects of the bloated AC3. I hope the inherent playfulness of a pirate theme means this increasingly self-regarding series can get back on track, shed a little weight on focus on good times once more.
There's all sorts of other stuff flying around but to be honest I'm going to wait until something official emerges for fear of wasting your time with info-scraps which prove only part-true.