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Barney's Misadventure: Crying Is Not Enough

Girlfriend in a coma

Crying Is Not Enough is a third-person adventure game, in which a man named Jacob enters a parallel reality that exists alongside our world, in order to 'bring his wife back to life' from a coma. Jacob's voice is provided by Dean Wendt, who was the voice of Barney, the purple dinosaur. He doesn't sound very much like Barney in the trailer, but I can't quite get past the fact that he was Barney for so long. Somebody should really mod the game, when it comes out next year, to replace Jacob's character model with a skipping, dancing Barney. He wouldn't really fit in the permanently mood-lit 'No Man's Land' shown in the trailer below but the press release does say that 'mysterious creatures' live there. What could be more mysterious than a overly optimistic singing dinosaur made out of felt, with a human being as its sole internal organ?

The scariest thing of all is that the song is now in my head, worming its way around and waiting to burst out at an inopportune moment. I'll probably start singing it to the person at the checkout in Tesco.

That's more like it. Or not. The trailer doesn't contain any combat but there will apparently be "both gun and melee fighting", as well as a karma system that tracks the player's actions and alters enemy reactions accordingly.

Crying is Not Enough isn't a small project. The trailer covers the first episode of the first part of a trilogy, which falls under the name Project Chromopolis, all of which makes me think this might end up being the worst kind of Neverending Story and it's hard to imagine one worse than any story where this happens.

I saw that when I was a child and I'm amazed that I ever stopped crying.

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