I've said before that the greatest chronicle of English culture is a Duke Nukem 3D level, and that continues to be true. In a bleak country full of absurd events happening at breakneck pace, modder Dan Douglas is doing his best to capture them in his level, Duke Smoochem 3D. Barely a day after British prime minister Boris Johnson announced his intent to resign, Douglas has already added it to his yet-unfinished level. And yes, he's made it even sillier.
Boris Johnson gets stuck on a zipwire, in Duke Nukem 3D pic.twitter.com/bDYRxs6HPf— Dan Douglas (@dandouglas) July 8, 2022
Douglas here is combining Johnson's resignation speech with the time he got stuck on a zipline as mayor of London during the 2012 Olympics. The skip is just wishful thinking.
Before Johnson's announcement, he had already added the Sky News ticker keeping track of the many, many government resignations that eventually forced Johnson's hand.
Sky News' government resignation counter, in Duke Nukem 3D pic.twitter.com/VljSrampRk— Dan Douglas (@dandouglas) July 6, 2022
People treating Boris Johnson as a wacky buffoon rather than a calculating politician committed to gutting Britain for the sake of his rich pals is part of why he's managed to do such harm, but I'm cool with it here. This is, after all, a Duke Nukem 3D level where opposition leader Kier Starmer is in the Great British Bake Off tent calling in an airstrike on an alpaca.
I remain impressed by not only how much Douglas is cramming into what he calls "a UK leftist interactive shitpost" and how quickly he does it, but how good he's making it look. Do flick through the rest of that Twitter thread for some impressive design, texture work, and technical trickery.
I am starting to fear he might never finish and release Duke Smoochem—not for our sake, for his. Will England stop being daft for long enough for him to catch up and call it finished? Seems unlikely. Maybe he should receive a lifelong Arts Council grant, become an official chronicler. It'll finally be released as-is upon his death, and future generations shall come to know the ludicrous land once known as Enger.