Free Loaders: Of Biker Mice And Men

Have you ever wanted to ride through the desert, just you and your bike, without a care in the world? Free from the law? Free from society? Free from those weird black trucks that follow you everywhere? Well, don’t worry. The world’s premier free games column has you covered.

(We also have a game about tyrannical cyber-Egyptians, if you’re into that instead).

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King’s Quest Episode 1 Is Now Free

A new King’s Quest [official site] was one of the first projects Activision announced after hauling the hide of Sierra Entertainment off their trophy wall and wrapping it around one of their colossal Actifingers, bringing back one of the shut-down publisher’s touchstones. With the series’ creators and makers long gone, the new episodic King’s Quest was made by P.B. Winterbottom devs The Odd Gentlemen. Three episodes are out so far, and now the first episode is free for everyone to try. Our John did not like it, but are you curious to see for yourself?

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Free Loaders: Not Safe For Work Or Your Mum’s House

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the human penis is in want of a photographer. A fundamentally interesting organ, it is versatile, yet vulnerable. Undeniably ugly and yet, somehow, ugly in all the right ways. It is this humble male appendage which brings us all together this week. Suffice to say, do not read on if your boss is sitting next to you. Unless you work for a sex shop, or like, I don’t know, a dildo factory.

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Forza Motorsport 6: Apex Open Beta Live On Windows 10

Are you my Drivatar?

I had expected the PC debut of Turn 10 Studios’ respected Xbox drive ‘em up Forza would be an all-singing, all-dancing extravaganza, but I missed it happening a few days ago. Er. Well then. Forza Motorsport 6 [official site] is now available in open beta through the Microsoft Store. Yes, it is a stripped-down free-to-play version. No, it doesn’t have multiplayer. And yes, it does require Windows 10, though by now haven’t we all upgraded to 10 whether we wanted to or not? It’s a shame Forza’s PC debut is half-hearted but hey, if you want to go zoom, you now can! Its zooms are quite pretty.

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Free Loaders: No One Can Oust The King Of Herrings

This is the giant oarfish, also known as the “King of Herrings”. I learned about this monstrous fish – the largest ‘bony fish’ in existence – thanks to one of the games in this week’s line up. You too can learn about strange and terrifying marine creatures if you click ‘read more’.

Also, please play some of these games.

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Make Something Surreal With VA DA

Hylics is a surreal and beautiful game, a gentle JRPG built of clay, stop-motion photography, drawn animation, and… you know, I’m not even sure. It’s silly and funny and occasionally gruesome (your plasticine head disintegrating when you die is astonishing), and sounds like no other game I’ve played. We showed it at this year’s Mild Rumpus and I happily sat for hours watching puzzled people play on a big screen.

Anyway! Sorry. I was just making up for that fact that we’ve barely mentioned Hylics before, and leading into what this post is actually about: VA DA [official site], a fun weird free animation doodad by Hylics chap Mason Lindroth.

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Star Wars Battlefront Free Trial Blasts Off

I only just found out May the 4th was a special day for Star Wars: the 40th anniversary of that fateful day George Lucas was struck with inspiration for a space-hairdresser made of LEGO. Sat beneath a starfruit tree, Lucas was knocked in the noggin by a falling fruit then leapt to his feet shrieking “Death to stars!” The rest is history.

That’s why Titanfall devs Respawn announced they’re making a Star Wars game, why Alec declared some other Star Wars game was blah, and why DICE’s third-person shooter Star Wars Battlefront [official site] now has a free timed trial.

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