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Die Harder: Dark Souls 2 Getting Three DLC Episodes

Someone sure lost a lot of crowns

Once upon a time, Dark Souls 2 wasn't going to have any DLC whatsoever. Its developers were all like - and I (do not) quote - "DLC? More like thing-that-arbitrarily-keeps-games-from-being-complete-so-publishers-can-score-a-quick-buck-later... LC." Dark Souls 2 did in fact release as a complete game, however, so no huge worries there. The path is clear for even more darkness and souls - and maybe, just maybe, we'll learn a thing or two about ourselves along the way. Like how easily our bacteria-riddled bodies pop like grapes under the slightest pressure from something three times our size. It'll be great fun! Trailer for Dark Souls 2's episodic Lost Crowns DLC trilogy below.

The environments are entirely new, as are the enemies that populate them. You will likely find new and exciting ways to die horribly, which is negative in all situations except videogames. Here's a breakdown of the first episode, which drops next month:

"Crown of the Sunken King, the first chapter in the trilogy, sends players on a journey to reclaim the crowns that Drangleic’s King Vendrick once owned. Crown of the Sunken King features an entirely different world within the Dark Souls II universe, where stepped pyramids span a vast underground cavern. It is said that one of the ancient crowns lay buried deep within these dark caverns; but surely such a valued item cannot sit unguarded. Players that seek adversity and glory will be rewarded with a crown that holds the strength of lords from times long past."

That'll be out on July 22nd, followed by episode two, Crown of the Old Iron King, on August 26th, and episode three, Crown of the Ivory King, on September 24th. Each will go for $10, or $25 if you buy the season pass.

So yeah, that's three crowns. Then you can put them all together and have the tallest hat in all the land. People will pay you legendary, time-honored compliments like "fetching" and "that sure is three hats stacked on top of each other." Dark Souls will never be the same.

For real though, Dark Souls 2 was pretty great, and I can't complain about getting more. Have you finished DS2 yet? If so, are you clamoring for DLC? Are you down with the crown(s)?

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