FINALLY: Superior Spelunky PC-Bound In August

Thirty thirty thirty four days agoooooooo, I wanted Spelunky on PC to be dated. Nothing to do, nowhere to goOOoo, I wanted Spelunky on PC to be dated. Just get it on my level, put it on my plane. Hurry hurry hurry, before this song gets more inane. [Consoles] can't control my fingers, they can't control my brain. Oh no no no no no.

Oh hey, Mossmouth just slapped a date on it. Hooray! My tireless campaign of utterly butchering classic punk songs has finally paid off.

The harder, better, faster, stronger (oh fine, I won't eviscerate any Daft Punk songs) version of the beloved roguelike platformer is hitting PC on August 8th. Steam and GOG will carry it in equal (read: infinite) quantities, so run, don't walk to get it pretty much whenever you feel like it.

It's a truly marvelous little thing, and I have no idea what took so long. It doesn't matter now though, because this positions it perfectly to fill the giant void in my life that'll begin devouring all my positive emotions as soon as I finish Rogue Legacy. Hurrah for temporary solutions to a much more distressing existential problem!

Anyway, here's a fittingly ancient trailer. Also, if you want to try the original Spelunky, you can grab a free download here. Happy Spelunkerererering.