I had a mate at university who got home pissed at 2am and decided to boil himself an egg. Great idea at the time. But he passed out on the floor, the saucepan boiled dry, and the egg began to combust. When my mate woke up, it was because his whole building was being evacuated because of the billows of rancid egg smoke from his…
Ark: Survival Evolved
A plethora of games to scratch that same Minecraft itch
The ARK console is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural
6 months ago
8 months ago
Listen, never mind that sharks are not the mindlessly violent animals we’ve been trained to fear, and simply additional victims of mankind’s global vertebrate binge. Dismiss, please, the ongoing cultural rehabilitation of this toothy swimmer, who is statistically quite poor at killing humans. Ignore also their adorable habit of falling asleep when you hold them upside-down. Forget it, forget it all. No more lovey-dovey thoughts…
1 year ago
Hi, it's me! Yeah! No, nothing's wrong, all's good. I was just calling to see if you wanted some Steam Charts? ... STEAM CHARTS ... Yeah, that's right. No, no it's not. You don't? Oh, um, I already sent them over.
2 years ago
There's a pirate MMO on the horizon, and its sea-farers look ambitious. Atlas is being made by Ark: Survival Evolved devs Studio Wildcard, and sets sail on early access today. It plops 40,000 players into the same fantasy world, where they compete to govern territory and can fire at any ship on the sea.I spoke to project director/lead programmer Jeremy Stieglitz and creative director Jesse…
Hello! This week John is doing a super secret special mission (playing a video game) so I, one of the other Alices, have taken over the Steam Charts. I am afraid that I do not put as much time as John into constructing elegant jokes that are several layers deep, though, which means you might even be able to tell which games are charting. I…
QUICKLY! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, QUICKLY! I've written the charts and there are some jokes and you have to read it!One of the jokes is quite good!
3 years ago
Welcome to my nightmares. As chronicled last week, all human progress is wiped out by a Steam Sale. Where once we were a species that revelled in new, interesting ideas, pursuing our dreams, we are once more wedged neck-deep in the past, doomed to buy the same £40 five-year-old games until we rot and coagulate into a molten horror. Welcome to the Steam Charts!
Hallo! Me again, filling in (slightly late) while John is handcuffed to a steering wheel for other duties. The Steam Charts were all shook up (mm mm mmh!) last week by the launch of Steam's summer sale, including propelling a lump of hardware into the top ten for the first time in ages. A number of older games have rocketed back too, boosted by sale…
As you stare out into the world, at the tumult and turmoil, perhaps you feel the only hope is to turn to the Steam Charts for its comforting predictability and stability. I'm sorry folks, but it's all gone batshit crazy in here too.
A lot of people have tried to argue over the years that it's simply impossible to collate the top ten selling games on Steam from the last week, and then write a small comment accompanying each, beneath a screenshot. But today, for the first time, we hope to prove those people wrong.
As the feedback loop of Steam successes reaches an ear-shattering scream, this week we see last year's best sellers dominating the New Year's first week. So I refuse to live in the past. Let's look forward. Let's imagine what we might want from these behemothic developers.
Another year over, a new one just begun, which means, impossibly, even more games. But what about last year? Which were the games that most people were buying and, more importantly, playing? As is now something of a tradition, Valve have let slip a big ol' breakdown of the most successful titles released on Steam over the past twelve months. Below is the full, hundred-strong…
Ho ho hello readers! It's Father Christmas here! I hope you've all been good boys and girls this year! Now, let me see, what have you all been wishing for? Goodness gracious, it's all PC games! Well, I wouldn't know much about those I suppose, but let's have a look...
Ark: Survival Evolved, the current king of dinosaur hill, is not a simulation of any kind. Saurian meanwhile, new on Steam Early Access this week after a successful Kickstarting a while back, is a survival game that similarly appeals to our first childhood love, but wants to be more Walking With Dinosaurs than Jurassic World. Which is to say, a dinosaur life simulation based on…
4 years ago
Hello. I've had this brilliant new idea! Each week I shall tell you which are the top 10 selling games on the PC gaming outlet Steam. No, no, this is nothing like Alec's idea that he had - he did it on a Tuesday. This is entirely different.
He was a boy. She was a girl. Can I make it anymore obvious? He wrote the weekly Steam charts. She read them.What more can I say?Other than that these are the ten Steam games with the most accumulated sales over the past week, obv. See ya later, boy.
'Til all are one, it's only the weekly Steam charts! These are the ten games which sold best on Steam last week.It's one of those 'just copied and pasted all the HTML from last week' kind of weeks. This is GOOD because I am lazy but BAD because there is little new to say. Fortunately, I've brought a friend along with me this time.
By the power of Grayskull, it's only the weekly Steam charts! These are the games which sold best on Steam last week.It's all gone a bit 2015-2016 in here again, I'm afraid, but fortunately cavalry of a sort arrives in the pendulous form of some big ol' swingin' dicks.
Heavens to Murgatroyd, it's only the weekly Steam charts! That is to say, the ten games which sold best on Steam last week.After a string of backwards-looking weeks, it's beginning to look a lot like 2017 at last.
Every Monday we send Brendan to the far-flung reaches of the early access galaxy. And sometimes we even receive a report back. This week he finds himself stranded on a stormy, alien-infested planet in Osiris: New Dawn [official site].I have survived many things – the dinosaurs of ARK, the mad men of Rust, a degeneration of the self in DayZ. This makes me perfectly suited…
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