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2 years ago
Feature: Group therapy
Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time. You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find you get a steaming pile of half-baked ideas, geriatric technology and an exhausting cocktail of ill-judged satire and straight-up misanthropy.
3 years ago
Feature: Occasionally bet on Duke
Duke Nukem 3D [official site] turned twenty this year, which means it can get away with drinking hard liquor and smoking cigars in a strip club legally in some parts of the world, but might not think that’s as cool as it once seemed. Mr Nukem is actually twenty-five years old, however, having appeared in two platform games before his FPS adventures. Years of development…
4 years ago
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I never intended for that picture to become the official header for What Are You/We All Playing This Weekend, you know. I found myself in charge of this section one week and thought I'd find a nice picture of a pond - which was where I intended to mostly spend my weekend. Finding nothing in antique illustration archives (we have our whole antiquated Britishness schtick,…
5 years ago
A lot has changed in video games across my six years as a professional words person, but Duke Nukem has always been a shambles. In uncertain times, I knew I could always glance his way and groan "Oh no what's happened now?" I feel a little lost now the legal troubles between old owner 3D Realms and the new Dukelords at Gearbox Software have wrapped…
Feature: "Comedy orc film starring Adam Sandler and chums"
No Rock, Paper, Shot Take this week, as we thought we'd try out a multi-topic chat about the week in PC gaming instead. Discussed: how to bring back Duke Nukem without it being a horrible mess, whether the Warcraft movie looks any good, whether any game moves are any good and the terrifying lure of idle games.
Feature: The (ac)Adam-y Awards
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6 years ago
The plot thickens. Actually, come to think of it, the plot was already quite thick - perhaps even viscous - given that 3D Realms sold the rights to Duke Nukem years ago only to resurface out-of-the-blue with a new Duke Nukem game being developed by Rise of the Triad developer Interceptor, get sued by Gearbox for it, sell its entire business to Interceptor, and allege…
7 years ago
Remember Duke Nukem Forever? No, not that one with the poo-throwing; the other one, the one people were excited about 12 years ago. The one in the 2001 trailer which appeared to offer endless impossible, fantastical things. By today's standards, those things no longer seem impossible and quite a few them seem deeply unsavoury, but it remains a shame that the DNF we got was…
8 years ago
I wanted to snarkily write '3D Realms' in the title, but when I added the apostrophe it looked like '3D Realms'' and everyone would have thought I'd just forgotten what type of speech mark I was using. Anyway! The 3D Realms name is indeed back, even if it's currently somewhat unclear as to whether it's anything more than a name at present. The Duke Nukem…
Feature: Don't call it 'girlfriend mode'
Here's today's scandal, then. The Mechromancer, a post-release DLC character for Borderlands 2 has been revealed, and one of her skill trees is aimed at making the game more accessible to people who don't play shooters. Officially, this set of abilities is called 'Best Friends Forever', and includes skills such as missed shots having a chance to auto-ricochet into their intended targets - i.e. allowing…
I had been worried that Duke Nukem would never, ever make me laugh again. Then I listened to his voice actor Jon St. John reading an extract from ubiquitous rutting tome 50 Shades of Gray in character as Duke, and a multitude of recent sins were forgiven.
Speaking of that DLC stuff, Duke Nukem is destined to expand for the price of $10, next Tuesday. The DLC, which is called The Doctor Who Cloned me, features a new single player campaign (although presumably it's only short compared to the main campaign) as well as a bunch of multiplayer maps. Gearbox explain the setting thusly: "Deep in the heart of Area 51, Dr…
9 years ago
There are many reasons to criticise Duke Nukem Forever. The incoherence, the leaden dialogue, the back-tracking, the unconvincing claimed satire of its attitude towards women, the half-baked mini-games, the oppressive linearity... and, perhaps most acutely for those who were more prepared to forgive such follies due to their fondness for the character and his earlier games, the strict two-weapon carry limit. I can't imagine there's…
The Gearbox forums have announced the inevitability of the Icons Parody Pack, a multiplayer add-on for Duke Nukem Forever. It'll contain new maps and game modes, and be available in the autumn at some point. The post explains that the DLC will be free "to all First Access Club members who registered their FAC membership before Duke Nukem Forever launched in their country (subject to…
Feature: The future is sort of here. Soonish. Maybe.
Pay attention, students - here's your homework for today. Cloud gaming services such as OnLive and Gaikai: discuss. They're on the rise, and approaching the point where they're not just a fascinating gimmick but a viable way of playing high-end games at reasonable graphical quality. But what do they mean for PC gaming? Indeed, can they be considered PC gaming? And most of all -…
Well, the demo at least, which is now on Steam. Duke Nukem Forever, in case you've not heard of it, is the sequel to popular 1996-shooter, Duke Nukem 3D. The sequel was originally developed by 3D Realms, and then, later by another like-minded Dallas-based studio, Gearbox Software. The game charts the adventures of Duke Nukem (who is not actually a duke, as far as my…
Feature: Atomic aggro
Come the first breaking of news that the Redner Group, a US PR firm representing 2K Games, had publicly announced that "Too many went too far with their [Duke Nukem Forever] reviews…we are reviewing who gets games next time and who doesn’t based on today’s venom”, the glacial RPS hivemind elected not to post about it. An unfortunate spat involving a PR firm and sites…
Feature: Long live the king?
After a short wait and a bit of help from Gearbox, the new shooter from 3D Realms has quietly arrived on PC and console. It stars one Duke Nukem, a man of ACTION, BABES, BICEPS and MILLIONS OF MINI-GAMES. Is it worth a look and some of your money? Let's see.
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Update: that's it for now, folks. I'll try to do some more over the weekend. I must be honest and admit I don't want to though. So far it's a bizarre, often witless mess of scatty, wasted ideas, clunky writing and surprisingly little action. Here's hoping it improves now I'm out of the backtrack-heavy casino bit, though. Eventually, via dark magicks, I have made Duke…
Today's the day. Today is the day. The day that over a decade of abject silliness is finally resolved: Duke Nukem Forever has been released. Good grief! It's actually happened. It's available in shops, whatever they are, right now, and also on Steam. Unfortunately, a number of players, myself included, are experiencing a problem wherein over 100 game files - including the main .exe -…
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