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2 months ago
After over a decade of leading Football Manager, watching from the sideline and becoming increasingly animated on the box art, series mascot Manager Man has been fired. Just as his dramatic poses (from the nostrils down) seemed to confirm his leadership was finally steering the series right, becoming cheers and fist-pumps over the past few years, he's out the door. It's scandalous. Publishers Sega have…
Another year in the Football Manager series means another set of tweaks and revisions to the well-established formula, as we'll see in the newly-announced launch of Football Manager 2019 (and its streamlined sibling Football Manager Touch 2019) on November 2nd. Expect the addition of Germany's DFL Bundesliga and the shock firing of the series mascot, Manager Man. This mysterious sportsdad, also known as Ian Football…
What happened when we ran England – Croatia through Football Manager 2018 ten times
Tomorrow heralds the most heart-stopping moment in English national football since John Barnes bravely claimed to know how to rap. England face Croatia in the World Cup semi-final; if they win, they make the finals. If they lose, nobody sings that Lightning Seeds song for at least another two years. It's win-win! But which will it be? The answer lies in science. Or the closest…
3 months ago
We've just passed the half-way point of 2018, so Ian Gatekeeper and all his fabulously wealthy chums over at Valve have revealed which hundred games have sold best on Steam over the past six months. It's a list dominated by pre-2018 names, to be frank, a great many of which you'll be expected, but there are a few surprises in there. 2018 releases Jurassic World…
The nightmare visions of recreating England coach Gareth Southgate in Football Manager 18
Foot-to-ball is returning to its origin! A trio of lethal predators on a jersey! Į̵̢̻̪͚̗̲͔̗̱͐̿̒͜͜ͅͅT̷̞͎̦̣̪̹̮̩̞̥͔̾̇̓̈́̔̕͜ͅ'̵͇̲̮͔͔̰͖͙̫̭̗͉͓̅̀̃̊͊̔̓͊̕͝͝͝ͅS̷̢̧͍͕͓̠͎̖̝̤̉͋́̄̇̈̿͆̓̕ ̶̦̥̽̄̇̌C̵̡̛̰̱͚̻̮͇̖̉͗̓̋͆Ơ̷̮̱̪̮̘̹̍M̷̛̰͚̹̓̓̀͛̊͋͋̈́̃̓͘͝I̸͚͚͍̬̱̹̺̼̿́̂̊̍̈́̕͝N̴̰͉̹̻͊̏̔̈́͒G̴̝̓̌͊̇̅̂̈́̾̉̕ ̵̯̭͕̺̍H̴͖͎̩̝̤͙͔̹͔̹̀̍́̈͂̄̑̌͑ͅO̷͖̠͉̜̹̯͖̮͠ͅM̵̧̞̯̱̫̣̫̅́̎̂̈́̈͑͜͝Ę̷͖̟̪̬͙̟̭͕̂̐ And what better way to celebrate England's passage into the World Cup quarter-finals than recreating soon-to-be knight of the realm Gareth Southgate within Foot-to-ball Manager 2018? Something... something is very wrong.
6 months ago
Feature: Fake Geralt and other imposters
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9 months ago
Feature: The biggest hits of the past 12 months
Another year over, a new one just begun, which means, impossibly, even more games. But what about last year? Which were the games that most people were buying and, more importantly, playing? As is now something of a tradition, Valve have let slip a big ol' breakdown of the most successful titles released on Steam over the past twelve months. Below is the full, hundred-strong…
10 months ago
Feature: You can win everything with wonderkids
Football Manager 2018 isn’t just about playing for a season, giving up, then starting over – it’s about building a legacy, relationships and a squad to be proud of. With that comes the need to sign people who are still legally children for more money than most of us will ever see in our lives. Wonderkids, then. With that in mind, I’ve trawled through the…
Feature: Number one in your hearts
Imagine what would happen if Plunkbat weren't to be at number 1? Could anyone even cope any more? Has all of gaming started operating on this as a foundation, forgetting that it could, one day, not sell more copies than everything else? What if I'm writing this as a bluff because it's not at number 1 this week? What if I just wrote that to…
Feature: Next week: Steam Graphs
The continued clotting amalgamation of the Steam Charts, with CODWARs and AssCreed Oranges mysteriously occupying multiple spaces, is having frankly dangerous effects on the column. No The Witcher 3! No GTA V! And H1Z1 seems to have been entirely forgotten by the ages! What is a running joke to do?
11 months ago
Feature: Carrying a slight knock
Nobody listens to a word I say. I might be a legend of the game and one of the most beloved footballers of my generation but as soon as I stick my nose in at half-time, all the energy is sucked out of the dressing room. Football Manager 2018 gives me all of the data I need to understand why the team are uninterested or…
Feature: Popular games in a list!
Do you find solace through memetics? Which enormously popular game you like is also liked by lots of other people? What else might form the triangle of your desire? Cast aside your romantic delusions, and delve into the acquisitive mire that is the Steam Charts.
While Football Manager 2018 doesn't launch until next week, ballheads can rest assured that the popular fan-made tool Genie Scout is already coming over. For non-ballheads, lets sidebar for an analogy. Football Manager is a crafting game about preparing and tweaking a wildly complex stew. The stew is a football team. Thousands of ingredients (players) are available, each with oodles of flavours (attributes) affecting what…
Feature: Chart-me-do
In a week in which Assassin's Creed Origins has managed to break the charts to such a degree that it somehow not only appears three times, but also stopped Feedly from being able to display the rest of the games in the correct order, we also see a few other new entries. But absolutely no new names.
Feature: Do tell
Alice is on holiday and she's taken all the games with her. Luckily some developers released new games after she'd left, so the rest of us still have something to play. Our choices are below, but we want to know from you: what are you playing in this weekend of plenty?
12 months ago
A man stopped following another man on Instagram the other day and newspapers and websites around the world wrote ominous headlines about it. Football in 2017 is very strange and one of Football Manager 2018's [official site] big new features looks like it'll be bringing some of that strangeness into the simulation. The system is called Dynamics and it models relationships within a squad as…
Football Manager 2018 will change scouts, stadiums, AI and more
Harry Redknapp is not a wheeler-dealer. The subs bench is not a bed. Transfer deadline day is not suitable for work. Transfer deadline day is your entire existence now. I've been waiting to see what's new in Football Manager 2018 [official site] since the release of Football Manager 2017. A short transfer window spoof video from Sega and Sports Interactive doesn't reveal an enormous amount,…
1 year ago
Football Manager 2018 [official site] is a game which exists and will launch on November 10th, publishers Sega announced today. Football Manager Touch 2018 also exists and will also launch on November 10th. That is about all Sega say. What's new with this year's instalment? They won't tell us until September. As Sega won't offer details, we've turned to our trusted secret sources [it's Ian…
