There are weeks when the Steam Charts surprise us! There are weeks when interesting new and old games reappear, pushing out the dreary regulars! And then mostly there are weeks like this one, where it's so depressingly bland that it starts raining outside the moment you glance at it. Not good rain, just bland drizzle.
Stats and Plunkbats
Feel like chicken tonight
5 months ago
OK, look, it isn't a Red Dead Redemption 2 edition, because Red Dead Redemption 2 isn't out for PC yet. But if I keep typing Red Dead Redemption 2 into this Google is going to be SO TRICKED and the clicks will pour in and Graham will give me a promotion!
Please check to see if your cats are laying down with dogs, and if your downs are presently up, because it'll only further confirm this week's Steam Charts' signs of the end times. SEVEN new or re-entries, no GTA, no Counter-Strike, no Witcher 3 - and please, look, sit down, make sure a relative or loved one is close by - Plunkbat is at #6.…
Have you ever stopped to wonder what life is really all about? To get to the bottom of why we exist, what our purpose is, where this is all heading?
6 months ago
All the latest tips, gossip, walkthroughs, guides, and secret information the developers don't want you to know about your favourite games! Brittany Spears! SEO terms! Steam Charts!
Multiplayer games are the best type of games, because they're built around the most interesting components known to humans: humans. Men, women, and an awful lot of children. Internet strangers aren't always the friendliest bunch, but they can surprise you in ways that a static system can't. People form the living, beating hearts of the gaming moments I value the most. Join me, then, as…
It’s Halloween (month)! I don’t know about you lovely lot, but there’s nothing I find more spooky or chilling than charts detailing what the most popular video games are in a given week. That's me, Fraser, filling in for John who is on holiday. A terrifying holiday, I bet.
Daddy: Hey Toby, can I get your help with some work please? Toby: OK, but they might be disappointed I'm a cat. This week on Steam Charts, my three-year-old son tells us all about the top ten grossing games on Steam.
7 months ago
I imagine in direct response to all my moaning insightful criticism, everyone in the world has upped their game and started buying some more interesting games from Steam. Such that this week's Steam Charts, with an extraordinary four new entries, barely resembles those of the last couple of months! Hurrah! And you clickbait won't believe clickbait where Playerunknown's Battlegrounds falls this week! CLICKBAIT!
Thank God you're here. Listen, I don't want to over-hype things, but this might be the most essential and life-changing article you ever read. Because if you only click through to read this, you will LITERALLY find out the top ten (nine) grossing games on Steam last week, and seriously, if you bought one of them, you will feel so bloody validated.
The grim effects of the Steam Summer Sale are finally wearing off, and we've got a bunch of new entries this week! Along with, of course, the usual hoary old guard of dreary regulars. So hold my hand as I guide you through the most exciting article of your life.
OK! OK! Look, thank you, yes, yes, I know, thank you. Yes, it's very exciting that I'm here with this week's Steam Charts, but come on, please, sit down now, that's really enough. Oh, come on, all of you, you're lovely, but it's only little me. Goodness gracious!
8 months ago
There are problems with claiming that Playerunknown’s Battlegrounds doesn't work as an esport. Thousands of those problems packed themselves into Berlin's Mercedes Benz arena for the PUBG Global Invitational, whooping, cheering and clearly getting their money’s worth from their tickets. At times, I whooped with them. I still think the whole idea is fundamentally flawed.
Welcome to the Award Winning Steam Charts! Yes, you heard that right! I wrote "Award Winning"! It hasn't technically won any awards, but since everyone can agree it should have, it seems like it would almost be lying not to write it. But enough about how bloody brilliant I am, here are the top grossing games on your Steams this week.
“I’ll write a blow by blow report of the final”, I said. “That should be fun”, I said. The final match of the third-person perspective competition at the PUBG Global Invitational had too many blows for one man to report, but it turns out you can still tell a good story if you focus on the most important. “When we are in game we are…
Words are ill-equipped to describe how dull this week's Steam Charts truly are. Read on to see how I combat that. But also, thank goodness there's at least the interesting feature that Plunkbat has, for the first time since it shot to the top of the charts on its release, dropped to third place. Its year-long grip on the top spot was beginning to waver…
I've been watching the PUBG Global Invitional on the ground in Berlin (yep, it's even hotter), but before the pro-plunkers went to bat I got the chance to sit down with Playerunknown himself. Playerunknown is also known as Brendan Greene, the lead designer of Playerunknown's Battlegrounds. I asked Greene about how PUBG Corp handles player toxicity, and failed to convince him to embrace the objectively…
Hello! Goodness me, it's good to have you with us. If you're reading this sentence on Steam, then I simply implore you to click through to the site to read what has been described by Simon Pulitzer as "the greatest games journalism the world has ever been blessed to receive."
9 months ago
Welcome to my nightmares. As chronicled last week, all human progress is wiped out by a Steam Sale. Where once we were a species that revelled in new, interesting ideas, pursuing our dreams, we are once more wedged neck-deep in the past, doomed to buy the same £40 five-year-old games until we rot and coagulate into a molten horror. Welcome to the Steam Charts!
I have reached a conclusion. Everything that's bad is the fault of Steam sales. Two weeks ago these charts had reached a place of being a fertile ground of interesting new games and discounted classics. Today, they're back to being mostly a miserably predictable list of games that even the undiscovered tribes of Papua New Guinea have on their Steam accounts.