It worked! Everyone, it worked! The sacrifices we all made, they were all worth it. Some said we were fools to ritually slaughter those Fortnite players and smear our naked bodies with their blood and entrails, but look! No GTA V in the Steam Charts! And no Monster Hunter World! Sure, there's still flipping Clancy Siege, and obviously nothing short of sacrificing a god could…
Stats and Plunkbats
Feel like chicken tonight
5 months ago
Once bitten, twice shy, is not a good aphorism for zombies. They're not very shy at all. In fact, some of them are positively bold. They've wreaked havoc with this week's Steam Charts, taking over nearly half the entries. Which, admittedly, saves me thinking up a bunch of other stupid shit to write. Yes, click through, read on, for the bunch of stupid shit I…
Battle royale games. For a long time the RPS treehouse was unable to comprehend these chaotic, destructive influences on society. Shooters, yes, we understand. Survival games, we get it. But 100-person death marches in a shrinking zone of hate? What’s so good about that? Well, this week we’ve got a young person* to help us decipher this most murderous of riddles.
Don't be scared. It's OK. I've got you. Hold my hand. Tighter. Come on. We can do this together. You and me. Lets... Steam Chart.
A lot of people first discover this Pulitzer Prize-winning* column via the Steam pages for their favourite games, and it's always a pleasure to welcome in new readers to RPS's most respected feature. So if you're new, welcome! Please settle in and find out why Steam Charts is the industry's most respected and revered games journalism.
6 months ago
Ho ho ho! John still hasn't returned after Christmas, missing presumed drowned in egg nog, so I'm filling in today. Valve have already blarbed about 2018's best-selling games so we're back on the weekly charts. Last week's top ten was largely familiar, though catching the tail end of the Steam Winter Sale has introduced a few surprises.
Hey, remember the good old days? Those giddy times I like to think of as last week? When the Charts felt fresh and new, filled with potential, as if any interesting game could take a top spot? Well, forget all that because it's all gone to shit again.
7 months ago
I don't what is this? How many? Are we sure we're in the right charts? This is definitely the Steam Charts, where the mad-brained broken people just buy the same four games over and over and over? Because something is up. People have only bought the same three games over and over!
When you hear the words “battle royale”, most people in 2018 immediately think of the trigger-happy Plunkbat or the cheery Fortnite. But a decade ago, those same words only evoked bleak battles between crying teens, fought on the black-and-white pages of a manga -- a Japanese comic. Art doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Creators absorb ideas and translate them to different mediums, in a web…
I, Alice Bee, have returned from a week off and everything has changed. Matt is in the office now, and complained about having to get up at 8.15am. This complaint made me furious and I am telling everyone. My desk has been moved. There is no milk in the fridge. I am confused, and I can't remember all the HTML codes to write this very…
Beep boop. I am the SteamChartBot, and welcome to the CYBERCHARTS. They're like the regular charts, but they have the word "CYBER" shouted at the start, and that makes them really bloody cool.
Hello! This week John is doing a super secret special mission (playing a video game) so I, one of the other Alices, have taken over the Steam Charts. I am afraid that I do not put as much time as John into constructing elegant jokes that are several layers deep, though, which means you might even be able to tell which games are charting. I…
8 months ago
QUICKLY! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, QUICKLY! I've written the charts and there are some jokes and you have to read it! One of the jokes is quite good!
There are weeks when the Steam Charts surprise us! There are weeks when interesting new and old games reappear, pushing out the dreary regulars! And then mostly there are weeks like this one, where it's so depressingly bland that it starts raining outside the moment you glance at it. Not good rain, just bland drizzle.
OK, look, it isn't a Red Dead Redemption 2 edition, because Red Dead Redemption 2 isn't out for PC yet. But if I keep typing Red Dead Redemption 2 into this Google is going to be SO TRICKED and the clicks will pour in and Graham will give me a promotion!
Please check to see if your cats are laying down with dogs, and if your downs are presently up, because it'll only further confirm this week's Steam Charts' signs of the end times. SEVEN new or re-entries, no GTA, no Counter-Strike, no Witcher 3 - and please, look, sit down, make sure a relative or loved one is close by - Plunkbat is at #6.…
Have you ever stopped to wonder what life is really all about? To get to the bottom of why we exist, what our purpose is, where this is all heading?
9 months ago
All the latest tips, gossip, walkthroughs, guides, and secret information the developers don't want you to know about your favourite games! Brittany Spears! SEO terms! Steam Charts!
Multiplayer games are the best type of games, because they're built around the most interesting components known to humans: humans. Men, women, and an awful lot of children. Internet strangers aren't always the friendliest bunch, but they can surprise you in ways that a static system can't. People form the living, beating hearts of the gaming moments I value the most. Join me, then, as…
It’s Halloween (month)! I don’t know about you lovely lot, but there’s nothing I find more spooky or chilling than charts detailing what the most popular video games are in a given week. That's me, Fraser, filling in for John who is on holiday. A terrifying holiday, I bet.