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Games For 2008: Peggle Nights

"Write about Peggle Nights," the Mighty Sentient RPS Computer told me. "But there's no information about it whatsoever," I meekly protested. There was a brief whirring. "WRITE ABOUT IT OR I WILL RE-APPLY THE NODES."

Peggle Nights, eh? How exciting is that?! It's Peggle, but at night!

Oh please help.

All that's known is the name, thanks to a mention in the Christmas ish of PC Gamer US. Described as being... Hey, wait a second! I never noticed that insult from Kieron before. Man! Yeah well Kieron, you... you smell of wee wee. And your mum cuts your hair. YOUR PUBIC HAIR.

Simon GameSetWatch speculated that the name might infer a similarity to that greatest of television spin-offs, Baywatch Nights. But that's only one of many possibilities...

Peggle Baywatch Nights

Tired of bouncing around the buxom balls of the regular Peggle, our heroic ball takes it upon himself to begin investigating crimes, while bouncing around the buxom balls of the regular Peggle, AT NIGHT. Will he protect the buxom lady from the mean old crime lord through a combination of bouncing off pegs and bouncing off some other pegs? Yes, very probably.

Peggle Boogie Nights

Young Eddie Ball was a very "special" guy. Young and naive, his unique talents were spotted by the cigar-chomping, hairy-chested owner of PopCap, keen to exploit him for financial gain. Lured in by a world of free drugs, and more naked pegs than he could ever bounce off, Eddie soon becomes embroiled in the seedy world, unsure of himself, his identity, and how to cope as his life spirals out of control. And he has a really big cock.

Please note I didn't use one of the more popular shots of Heather Graham's boobies.

Peggle Six Days And Seven Nights

With the Ghostbusters game capturing everyone's imagination, PopCap snap up the rights to another of Ivan Reitman's films, the often forgotten Harrison Ford vehicle. Bounce your way around a series of brand new levels themed around the romantic comedy escapades of a week trapped on a South Seas island.

Le Peggle Notti Bianche

Marcello Mastroianni and Maria Schell reprise their roles (despite their deaths), recreating one of Lushino Visconti's most incorrectly dismissed films. Telling the Dostoyevsky tale through the medium of eliminating coloured pegs, it will provide the link between Popcap's early neorealist manner and the obsessive stylisation of their forthcoming games.

I have real work I should be doing, you know.

Peggle Arabian Nights

This is what it's going to be, isn't it?

Peggle A Midsummer Night's Dream

This is what it should be.

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John Walker avatar

John Walker


Once one of the original co-founders of Rock Paper Shotgun, they killed me out of jealousy. I now run buried-treasure.org

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