Have You Played... Cluedo Chronicles: Fatal Illusion?

I want to be up front here and say that this game is terrible when measured by most conventional metrics. Thankfully there are many metrics by which Cluedo Chronicles: Fatal Illusion gets full marks:

• Being a first person, narrative adaptation of the Cluedo board game
• Having bendy character models with apparently no bones in their arms or shoulders
• Featuring the best worst German accent you’ve ever heard
• Also featuring the best worst Russian accent you’ve ever heard
• Seriously, Marina Popov (her name is Marina Popov) did not come to play
• Giving the murder victim the name Ian Masque
• Somehow ripping off several famous murder mysteries at once and still being a bad whodunnit
• Writing Rev. Green in a way that manages to give off a kind of Ross from Friends MRA vibe
• Being set in the late 30s but featuring behaviours, clothing, set dressing etc. up to approximately 20 years either side of that.
• Having an artist who paints the future many years before Heroes happened
• Somehow needing three CDs to fit on upon release
• "Shershay la fem, as the French say." I do not think the French say that
• Being the first of three planned such games, but being so bad that the other two were never made

I could not get decent screens of this, so the header picture is part of the back of the game case that I found scanned into a wikia. Everything in the first sentence of that blub is a lie.

You can, thank god, still buy physical copies of this from e.g. eBay.