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Have You Played... Resident Evil 7: Biohazard?

The house is very nice

Horror really isn’t my thing. I remember watching the 2012 adaptation of the Woman in Black after school, and leaving the cinema in a terrible state having just seen Harry Potter being put through the absolute ringer. So yeah, to my surprise, I played Resident Evil 7: Biohazard the other day and had a good time.

The family home you explore in Resi 7 is dark and mangled and labyrinthine. For me it’s scary partly because I’d actually consider putting down a deposit if given the chance. And if I had a few million to spare, which sadly I don't. It would come furnished which is a bonus, and the rooms are a “good size” as they say on TV shows like A Place in the Sun and Escape to the Country (both shows pair well with lunch). The current tenants would also be hospitable in their own way. I mean, you have dinner with them at one point and they’re all smiles. That's good enough for me.

I suppose I’d have the wiry oil monsters from Prey to worry about in the basement, but again, with property you have to make compromises.

About the Author

Ed Thorn avatar

Ed Thorn

Senior Staff Writer

When Ed's not cracking thugs with bicycles in Yakuza, he's likely swinging a badminton racket in real life. Any genre goes, but he's very into shooters and likes a weighty gun, particularly if they have a chainsaw attached to them. Adores orange and mango squash, unsure about olives.

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