Have You Played… Slave Zero?

Mechwarrior? No, thank you. Transformers? No, sir. Heavy Gear? Not my stompy president. That's correct, the super-sized mass-murdering robot of my desires is from Slave Zero. An absolutely mediocre action game, if my memory of blasting buildings into rubble in 1999 is accurate. But it also let you pluck people off the streets and yeet them sky high, like fleshy little pebbles. That was cool.

You could slam your foot down and explode nearby buildings. You could pick up cars from the neon highways and lug them at your enemies (other giant robots). You could scare a tiny person out of their car and pick up the fleeing human by your sharp robot fingernails, like a plucking a grape from the bunch, before flinging them into a billboard. Splat. This is the future we deserve.

It was a okay game, and none of you can take this middling blaster from me. Although, until I watched that YouTube clip, my memory had mistakenly given this people-squashing bigbot the face of MediEvil’s skeleton hero, Sir Daniel Fortesque. It’s probably because they have the same polygonal body shape, give or take a few hundred metres.

You can still buy it on Steam.