As we all know full well and is entirely obvious, BioShock: Elizabeth is a straightforward damsel in distress with a pretty face and a nice dress, and there's nothing more to her than that. There definitely isn't anything surprising or sinister about her: she will be rescued by the big man with the big gun, the mean nasty boss will fall to his doom and everyone will live happily ever after.
Or maybe there's some massive twist at the heart of the game and she's not what she seems to be at all? Nah.
Bearing in mind Big Blue Mangate I should probably try a lot harder to not let my urge to speculate and decipher get the better of me. Having played a few hours of the game I must admit that I'm highly intrigued by its plot-brew of magic, technology, alternate reality, old-timey style and American racism, however. It's also fascinating how engrossed we - and I use that to encompass both games press and games players - are in the character of Elizabeth. Who is, lest we forget, an NPC none of us have spent much time with. It's odd to feel we care so much, isn't it?
We've pinned high hopes on her oft-changing sleeve, and is that because of canny marketing, deft design or both? No-one wants to be a hype-victim, and it does feel as though we've been teased for long enough now, so I'm very glad the game's just five weeks away. Soon, the beast of speculation can be slain, and we can all start writing our hysterical editorials about what x means and why y was a disappointment, whatever happened to character z and why must there be guns in this gun game.