Don't tell John, but Playdead's adventur-o-puzzle Inside, with its abyss-black humour and boundlessly wicked imagination, is quietly one of my favourite games of the past few years. So much so that I seriously flirted with the idea of ordering its $375 special edition, before remembering the physical possessions are a burden, unless of course they're plastic robots. Much has been made of the fact that Playdead have partnered with Realdoll, purveyors of high-priced, dead-eyed, cold-fleshed silicon sex puppets, for the so-far mysterious contents of the box.
I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that no orifices are involved - but an awful lot of, well, limbs are.
I can say no more for fear of spoilers - seriously, just play Inside, it's only a few near-perfect hours long - but if you know what I'm talking about then you know what I'm talking about. A heavy implication as to the mystery tchotchke's nature is visible on the pre-order page; I reckon it's safe to look at if you've not played the game, but anyone else's attempt to explain it to you would be cruel and unusual punishment.
And so: creepily flaccid limbs that approximate yet terrifyingly deviate from human reality could well be a match made in a particularly twisted version of heaven, in terms of an Inside/Realdoll collaboration. Of course, whether you really want that sat on your desk even before getting into who made it is another question entirely. I get that there are only so many companies in the world that might create limbs of the sort required here, but, in terms of a talking point, it's a damn shame it has to be a sex-doll firm rather than, say, high-end action figure firms such as Hot Toys.
I shall keep my powder dry in terms of this $375 item - might have been tempted for half the price. It's as high as it is, at a guess, because Realdolls cost thousands of dollars. Again, I am truly hoping that whatever it is is orifice-free, but even if it is, I grimly presume that life finds a way, to quote the bard.
The Inside Collector's Edition is being made by game spec.ed. enthusiasts iam8bit, and includes a copy of the game in addition to Mystery Things presumably including Oh God That. Unfortunately the game disc is only for PS4, but hell, if you want this you already own Inside on Steam, right? It's $370/£270, pre-orders open tomorrow and close on June 8, and they won't be held to a release date just yet.