After 525 days of holding my tongue on Nier: Automata, of cautiously asking "So... what ending did you get?" and giving vague "I like Pascal too" answers so as not to spoil any surprises while wanting to tear my heart out, I'm calling an end to this: the moratorium on spoilers is over. I've avoided talking about Nier: Automata so much that I actually forgot parts of the game. Revisiting the game over the past few days, I've been amazed and delighted and heartbroken all over again, so to hell with this; let's talk about everything. It's not right that the only things I'll openly say about Nier: Automata are that it's "lovely" and "surprising" and "has a janky PC port", when I'd much rather talk about...
The architecture of this god damn place
And this whole thing!
AND ALL THIS
And the wonder and horror of becoming as gods
And how I don't hold grudges
And how this seems the lowest point for a dear friend
Then no, our neat friend fights as a chuffing huge warmech and this isn't at all cool, it's worse than ever because they're sacrificing everything they believed in
AND THEN it gets worse
And then IT GETS WORSE and I go on to buy these weapons out of curiosity because I am the worst friend
And obviously I shouldn't have looked at their story
And quite how wild this little roboboy goes
And yeah I can't blame him really, after everything
And how yesterday I prepared a Twitter bot that would generate the messages other players send you during the credits but deleted it because it'd be a hollow simulation of humanity and isn't that chuffing on-point
And the joy of help from a stranger who sacrifices something for someone they'll never know
And how much this song makes my heart ache so because I'm a stupid idiot
And how ending E just doesn't feel right for me
Because I feel the weight like Devola and Popola and I know how daft that is but I'm just not there yet
And all the different forms the game took along the way, and the million other ways my heart skipped a beat in delight and despair, and... I don't know what I want to say about all this. Got to start somewhere, and I suppose a huge outpouring of spoilers counts.
I, at least, have kept quiet about Nier for so long because I wanted other people to have the same fresh experience I did. I've avoided talking about it, stifling my understanding of it, and kept it down so long that I even forgot parts. And sure, we should absolutely still recommend the Fix Automata Resolution tool because it's shocking Square Enix haven't fixed the game up, but Nier is a game we can and should stop being so coy about. Now is the time for Nier spoilers. Let loose, chums.