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NSFW: A Beginners Guide To Sporn

You give humanity a creative tool, the first thing a human will do is - well - make a tool with it. Since the Spore demo's release, it's become a bukkake wave sweeping the web: comedy pornographic images via Spore. Spornography - aka "Sporn". Has it reached a climax yet? We don't know, but we think it's as good a time as any to stop and survey the lie of the land. And, yes, it's sticky.

Beneath the cut you'll find gathered a large selection of the phalluses, the pseudo-sex-acts and general disturbing animated parts of the gamers' subconcious. For God's sake, don't click it at work.

Right - we're dividing these into loose categories. There's certainly some we've missed - there's a brilliant missionary position one I can't find again - but it'll do for now. If you've got a favourite, please, post it in the comments thread and we'll work it in later.

COITUS:

X object in Y orifice, and various combinations thereof.

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Watch on YouTube

MOBILE PHALLUSES:

Like everyone else, we predicted they'd be a lot of these. And the prediction was right. What's most impressive is the number of different ways you can make a cock move.

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Watch on YouTube

Watch on YouTube

(The next one will satisfy you if you ever wondered what a large penis would look like when dancing to rubbishy dance tracks)

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CREATURES WITH ENORMOUS PHALLUS
Look - it's an animal with an impressively large cock. Noteworth is the variety in size and shape. No person draws a comedy cock in the same way.

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Watch on YouTube

FORLORN, YET DISTURBING, ATTEMPTS TO MAKE HOT WOMEN
As title. Nice try, but... no.

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I'm sure Will Wright is very proud of you all.

UPDATE 1: Some further Sporn! Also, if you're having trouble actually playing the videos, and they're stopping after 2 seconds, the way I tend to fix it on my machine is closing and restarting Firefox. As in, a clean restart rather than resuming a session. Very odd.

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Watch on YouTube

Watch on YouTube

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