Best PC gaming deals of the week

Now that we’ve all had enough time to slowly and wearily make it through the awful thing that is the week after a long weekend, we’re back up and running as we once were, with another batch of the best PC gaming deals of the week. There are even some free things in this one, too! But seriously, good job on making it through the week, everyone. Hopefully, the chocolate-induced coma wasn’t too bad.

Right, onto the deals. We’ve got deals that’ll work in the UK, deals that’ll work in the US and some deals that will work in both the UK and US, as well as presumably many other places. Let’s get started.

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Dell Inspiron 15 Gaming review: cheapish portable power

My ongoing quest to find the perfect gaming laptop – at the conclusion of which I shall buy my favourite – continues. I should note at this point that ‘perfect’ can mean several different things in this case. Clearly, attractiveness, features and performance are the main draws, but this is by no means a money no object deal. If a decent lappie is cheap enough, the fact that I won’t spend months trying and failing to justify the cost to myself means it might tick the ‘perfect’ box despite falling short in other areas.

And so to Dell’s £1000 Inspiron 15 Gaming, aka the Inspiron 7567. A diamond in the rough, or a get-what-you-pay-for folly?
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Snowy adventure Syberia 3 finally out today

Adventure game Syberia 3 [official site] was originally announced in a dark and mysterious year known as “2009”. Following many delays and postponements, it finally came out in Europe today, accompanied by a launch trailer that includes some unimaginably bad voice acting and Hong Kong cinema levels of lip syncing. And although all that is probably a result of developer Microïds’ localising it from their original French, I am certain the English trailer still qualifies as a tragic comedy.
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Mountain update pretties up our favourite pet rock

Back in 2014, we were all given a miniature Mountain [official site] of our own (or became mountains?). We were delighted as household items rained from the skies, days and weather passed, and our pet rock thought little thoughts. Then Graham murdered his mountain and suddenly we became hyper-aware of mortality. I took care of my own mountain for days but as its thoughts became darker and more confused, I worried its end might be near and… I have not visited it since. Well, today I met a new mountain, as creator David OReilly has launched a big update refreshing Mountain. Read the rest of this entry »

Figment is a slightly sinister silly symphony

Before I played Figment [official site], I knew very little about it. I’d heard that it was set inside the mind of a person suffering from fears, doubts and anxieties, which made me think it’d be creepy or heart-breaking, but the screenshots suggested something far lighter and perhaps even humorous. Having played a few levels spread across the game, I’m delighted to find that Figment’s finest qualities couldn’t show themselves in screenshots or press releases. It’s a musical and I found it utterly charming.

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Halo Wars: Definitive Edition trundles onto Steam today

I went for the word “trundles” in the headline because “warthogs” isn’t really a verb and I don’t know if I have the literary capital to pull off that particular innovation. Sorry, everyone. Anyway, a spruced-up version of Halo Wars the First has come out on Steam, allowing many to play the spin-off’d RTS for the first time. Previously it was only available as an inclusion on a special edition of the recent Halo Wars 2, which is a Windows 10-only affair as far as PCs are concerned. This is good news nonetheless, but there is a multiplayer catch. You can’t play with Windows Store chums.
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Grand Theft Auto Online going top-down in Tiny Racers

Grand Theft Auto Online [official site] will return to the series’ top-down roots — with an added touch of Micro Machines — next week with its Tiny Racers update. That’ll bring new top-down stunt races with power-ups and all. Youngfolk are often surprised to learn that Grand Theft Auto began life as a top-down 2D game, and look incredulous when I tell them that humanity hadn’t even discovered the third dimension of our own world until 1987. Maybe now they’ll believe me. Here, watch this trailer: Read the rest of this entry »

Dead Cells is a “soulslike” but also a “roguevania” (sorry)

The upcoming slash-and-splore Dead Cells [official site] has been dubbed a “roguevania” by its creators, which is either a creative and welcome blending of genres or an obscene new marketing word that we should refuse to acknowledge lest it catch on. I haven’t decided which yet because it’s still the morning for me and I haven’t even had my daily egg. The good news is: it has a release date and looks nifty enough for a quick post, which you can see in the trailer below. You are an immortal flock of manipulative cells in control of a lifeless yet servile human body. AND IN THE GAME HAHAHAHA KILL ME
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PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds targets performance in first big patch

Performance improvements and new items have arrived in PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds [official site] with today’s launch of the first monthly big patch for the chart-topping early access Battle Royale ’em up. Lucky scavengers might get to ride in a motorbike with a sidecar, gun down fellow survivors with the new Vector SMG (that fancy anime-lookin’ gun), and hopefully spend less time grumbling about framerates. Some players are reporting worse performance and more server problems since today’s patch, mind. Tch! Early access, eh? Read the rest of this entry »

Super Rude Bear Resurrection rises on May 5th

Super Rude Bear Resurrection [official site] seems like a game with one trick up its sleeve – when you die, your corpse can be used as a platform. That means you can brute-force your way through levels by jamming a corpse onto every spike, or making piles of dead bears to make a shortcut to higher platforms. You could even make bear stairs if you were so inclined. I’ve played a fairly large chunk of a very recent build and what’s clear is that what might have started as one idea has become many ideas. In fact, there are so many variations on corpse-usage that even a gathering of notable taxidermists would be astounded.

It’s out May 5th and even though Rude Bear himself feels like a nineties attempt to create a Sonic-like mascot for the Amiga, I crave it.

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Have You Played… Super Splatters?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day of the year, perhaps for all time.

I first played Super Splatters [official site] under a different name: Confetti Carnival. It fell into my lap just as the indie game renaissance was happening and just as Peggle was becoming a sensation, and it seemed like this might be the next big thing.

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Wot I Think: Warhammer 40,000 – Dawn of War 3

Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War 3 [official site] wants to be everything you like about the series, and its very different predecessors, in a single RTS. Missed the big armies and the base building? They’re back. Prefer fighting with beefy heroic units with lots of special abilities? They’re here too. It’s trying to be all things to all men, women, Orks and Eldar, and crikey does it come close to succeeding. So close you can hear the heavy metal roar of an Ork Waaagh tower and the thudding of Space Marine boots.

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The Walking Dead S3E4 blazing out on Tuesday

April 20th is shaping up to be a big day for ‘Deadheads’, as fans of The Walking Dead call themselves. You’ll have seen Deadheads today talking about “blazing it” and “lighting up a 720 kickflip” at 16:20, presumably anticipating Telltale Games’ announcement of a release date for episode 4 of The Walking Dead season 3 [official site]. Well, Deadheads, I’m sorry to say Telltale have jumped the gun and rolled into the party a few hours early. Telltale today announced that Episode 4, named ‘Thicker Than Water’, will arrive on Tuesday the 25th of April. Here, chill out with this trailer: Read the rest of this entry »

Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey makes a monkey outta me

Patrice Desilets, former creative director on the first few Assassin’s Creed games, has shown more of his ape-based survival game Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey [official site]. Desilets worked with ideas of aliens, conspiracy, and prophecy on Creed games but this is even wackier, positing that you and I were born as monkeys! What an imaginative world! It sounds like it’ll trip across a string of monkeys and Eegahs to explore his wild fantasy history. Suspend your disbelief for a look at Africa ten million years ago (as if the Earth existed ten million years ago! you jokers) in this new trailer: Read the rest of this entry »